Mobile Magnified

Well, well, well, my pretties. My spies have been busy and everywhere. One was as far as Austin, Texas. Another was just on Airport Boulevard. But near or far, just know wherever you are, a Boozie spy may be around. So always look over your shoulder. They’ll most certainly be the ones with cocktails in their hands. And probably slurring. And if they remember your misbehavior, I’ll get it out of them. Even if I have to water board ‘em. Yep, that’s right. Some spies don’t even know they’re spies. I have to torture them. But that’s just how important it is to me to deliver your tasty gossip to you in a timely fashion.

Order of Myths sneak peek

Three Mobile spies headed out to Austin, Texas, for the South by Southwest (SXSW) music and film fest March 13-16, and they were able to catch Mobile native Margaret Brown’s documentary on Mobile’s Mardi Gras “Order of Myths.” I demanded text messages throughout the screening and a full report when they returned.

The first text I received was “Oh my god.” The next one was “Hee Hee,” followed by two “LOL” and then “oh our trees look so pretty on the big screen,” and finally “I thought it was spot on. Awesome.”

So, of course, when my texting spy returned I asked her to explain.

She said she sent the “Oh my god” text after seeing a scene near the beginning of the film where two MOT (Mystics of Time) members were standing in their float barn with their masks on talking about how the whites and “coloreds” get along famously.

She said the dude looked really Klannish and she and the other two Mobilians sunk down in their seats in the theater packed out with hipsters from around the country. They were like, “Oh God. This is not going to make us look good.”

She said there were a couple of funny moments where the whole theater just roared in laughter.

The first was when all the debutantes and knights were at one of the events and this man (I’m assuming one of the deb’s fathers or a MCA member) made this really weird toast, which began with a long discussion on how he couldn’t drink red wine because of the histamines in it. But then he wanted everyone to savor the moment by asking everyone to take a sip of their red wine (he, of course, had to use white) and swish it around in their mouths, and he was being really serious about it. Even saying something to the effect of “I don’t hear any swishing.” The spy said the looks on the debs’ faces, especially the queen’s, was hysterical.

She said another moment when the whole theater “busted” into laughter was when the queen’s dress designer (who apparently was quite a character himself) was expressing relief at the particular design of her dress because that cut really flatters someone with a flat chest.

Laughter also erupted when students from Mary Vale were reading essays on why they loved moonpies and what they would do for them.

The tree text came after she said they saw a little part of the film that captured our oak trees beautifully. They were talking about how we were careful to run the parade routes around them. She said David Cooper was interviewed and said something like, “we aren’t exactly Druids, but we love our trees.” And then there were more beautiful shots of them. My spy said she and the other Mobile girl spy teared up. And she said, “I just got so emotional when I saw it. I always just know I’m home the minute I drive through the Bankhead Tunnel and down Government Street under our trees.”

Awww, Boozie is getting misty now. Our trees do rock.

She said overall she thinks Mobilians will be like, “yeah, well, that’s exactly how it is.” And she hopes it will start a community conversation about why it is this way.

Stumpknocker knocked in the noggin

My Callaghan’s spies said of course it was off the charts during their St. Patrick’s Day celebration Saturday, March 15. I hear it was so packed, people were actually partying two blocks down in Washington Square.

The music, of course, was great, with PEEK, Grayson Capps and The Stumpknockers and the lovely Theresa Andersson. But I guess someone didn’t think so – or they were just a drunken idiot – because this idiot threw a beer bottle and hit the guitar player for The Stumpknockers’ head.

No luck of the Irish for him.

Doctor, my eyes ….need glasses

On the actual St. Patrick’s Day, many went to the gorgeous Saenger Theatre to see Jackson Browne perform. My spies at the show said it was awesome, though of course the crowd was screaming out songs (one spy even said she heard someone scream “Freebird”). Oh good gracious! People, you are not out at The Fairgrounds. Please.

She did say Jackson Browne seemed to take it well, and someone yelled out for him to play “The Road,” but it must have been a while since he played that one because he forgot the words. Luckily, a prepared roadie came out with a piece of paper with the lyrics on it. But Jackson didn’t have his reading glasses on, so he couldn’t see it. Luckily, an audience member ran down front and threw his to Jackson, who put them on and played the song.

Everyone I talked to said it was a really great show, despite the rude screamers, which I am now making it my personal campaign to end this.

All you can eat Eddie

A spy told me our infamous, gun-slinging, legally-challenged, once fugitive, “larger than life” outdoorsman Eddie Smith was spotted at South China restaurant on Airport Boulevard Saturday. The spy also confirmed it was an “all you can eat” buffet.

Well kids, that’s all I got this week. I hope you enjoyed the program. I’ll be right back here again next issue reporting whatever insanity comes my way. So just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ oak tree lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

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