County View

On Mondays, crouching tigers rise from woods and, poised for attack, attack. No one likes Monday morns, that day after the weekend when faced with things of business and often unpleasant surprises wrapped in urgency and frustration, channeled through those who had turbulent weekends.

Moments before the June 9 County Commission meeting I felt my phone vibrate – this time it was really vibrating and not just my hip having aftershocks from previous rattles. Caller ID displays, one name but it was someone else using their phone. It was a business call, unrelated to my journalistic duties and the man on the other end was animated, not in a funny way.

Long story short, he was unsympathetic to my being in a meeting, he needed to vent, and so like a good psychiatrist I listened, made a few retorts in sotto voce, but then it occurred to me it was a few minutes past meeting start time and that perhaps I could slightly be heard in the chambers. And so it seems things really do go full circle and I became, as it were, the main character in my own satirical commentary.

I told the patient my ear was overrunning with love and that I was going to hang-up now and said goodbye. When I looked around the auditorium to regain my purpose, I thought I saw a few look my way, and then suddenly President Nodine called the meeting to order and cautioned all to turn phones off – not just mute, that a new recording system was in use. Was that meant for me, as if to say, don’t let that one call back? Or maybe they thought I was checking in with Jeff Poor to see how his exploration in Alaska was going.

But the real story was Steve Nodine, who said three words now heard around the world, “watch our budget,” and on a motion to recommend relocation of water facilities conflicting with a construction project on Jim Busby Road – the County footing the bill for the Mobile County Water, Sewer and Fire Protection Authority – he voted no and wondered aloud what about revenues the authority brings in from customers, are they not in position to be self-sustaining financially?

Showing what a fast gun he is, the very next item he also tried to shoot down – 45K for filling vacant Office Assistant I and Park Ranger I positions. “Can’t they transfer someone from another position?’ he asked. Apparently not. “How many Office Assistant I positions are there?” he continued. Someone would get back with him on that. Merceria Ludgood – the epitome of fiscal responsibility and Dean – still apparently struggling with the yes word, voted yes and overrode him on both items. Nodine went on record voting no on both.

In a last minute item, Mike Dean wanted approval for an “add-on” to an existing project in his district, which led to a lively discussion among the three, with Nodine pointing out they have a policy against add-ons.

What’s really going on here? Let’s brainstorm for a moment. Surely Steve Nodine has been under intense pressure and long working hours in his role representing the City of Mobile’s interest in staying the threatened tanker contract. It involves considerable traveling, long meetings, lots of paperwork – it must be exhausting at some point. Perhaps he is starting to show some of the strain of such a massive role, or as one friend whispered in my ear, “Maybe he knows something we don’t.”

Also note, not a shy amount of money has been required to pump up the tanker campaign, including a contract with a Web company to attract resumes of professionals, since as we pointed out in a previous column there was apparently a brain drain in Mobile some years back. So, the city has, in a sense of the word, gambled on the tanker contract. By the time you read this we may know our fate on that point.

Mike Dean clearly was not his usual jovial self either. His seat was being challenged by a popular west Mobile businessman who is a former cop and well-known self-defense instructor, John “Master” Graham. And he was facing some scrutiny over some comments about paving private roads.

That reminds me – have you ever heard of rural residents not wanting a road paved? Item 38 was deleted from the agenda because “Majority of the land owners of adjacent lands do not want road paved.” Yes, I prefer driving on dirt roads too. As a public servant Mike Dean may need to toughen-up and instead of saying yes too much say “I’ll get back with you on that,” if he doesn’t just want to laugh and say you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip, Bubba.

This topsy-turvy queasy Monday meeting was not going to go out like a lamb but rather like a tiger, as alluded in the opening. While the three carried on about add-ons, the sound of drums resounded from behind the dais. What? Was an employee on his break and practicing on his new kit in the room behind the auditorium? No, a marching band was making it’s way off the plaza outside and into the building. For a moment I looked up and expected beads and moon pies to fly into my outstretched hands, but the music grew louder until the doors opened and then it stopped.

A marching band quietly marched in and took seats as the county clerk hurriedly reminded the three that perhaps they needed to approve the request for motion to adjourn, which they did, and then The James Seals Mighty Marching Tigers busted into a rap-a-licious, funky tune involving tubas and snares and even singing. It was their way of saying thanks to the County for helping their community band obtain instruments.

When I took this gig and told friends I would be “covering the county commission meetings,” they snickered and quipped, “Oh, how very -interesting!” It seems I am having the last laugh. Ha.

Contact Preston Brady at preston@lagniappemobile.com.

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