County View

The county as viewed from the back of a bike

In the line of business, when government laws and rules do not yield the desired result, simply change the rules, shift the balance of power and like Copperfield wiggling out of chains, your result will miraculously appear. This is the course being taken in the tanker spanker drama.

Being spanked is the Air Force for knowing what they wanted. Holding the whip, the omnipotent Pentagon, punishing the Air Force for daring to award the contract to a French company. We don’t want foreigners messing with our military stuff and we don’t need help fighting our wars either, witness Afghanistan and Iraq, both stunning successes.

I’m tired of waiting on the federal government to decide the fate of Mobile’s aerospace future. Why don’t we build our own future in a major, international complex at Brookley and include the trillion dollar space technologies industry like our neighbor Pascagoula? The Pentagon can’t stop us from inviting Airbus to set up a U.S. office here where we can build’em and ship them from Alabama State Docks.

I’ve already begun work on a space elevator and should be peering over the top of the RSA tower in a few months. If you have any milk crates or duct tape to donate to the cause, you know how to reach me.

Mobile’s Little Brothers and Sisters

The biggest problem of being a township, an unincorporated area in a county, is not being the city itself, of lying on the outskirts grappling for crumbs watching the big city girl living it up with free garbage and trash service, a connected water system and other trimmings like street cleaning and proximity to the heart of the legal system that governs. Some people move to the outskirts to escape the city, but once escaped they might wax nostalgic over the amenities left behind. Yet as part of Mobile County towns like Creola, Cintronelle, Semmes, Wilmer, Grand Bay and Bayou la Batre speak up for their share of the county pie. After all their residents do pay county taxes and deserve services offered.

Hodge-Podge for $200

It might take all the money in China to undo what well-meaning folks did to the general layout of Mobile County, which, at times appears to have been designed by a group of oil company executives on caravan. Enslaving residents to their cars is probably another one of my paranoid delusions, but it sure appears to be the case.

There are times when I wished a convoy of bulldozers would wipe out the ugly chain of “shopping centers” at Tillman’s Corner and start over with a connected town square design that allows one to park and walk to all the shops, restaurants, post office, banks in easy unison. But that would be too gay so forget it.

One problem with towns like Semmes is lack of blueprint or planning for future development. Instead of a town center there’s a mile stretch of stores and restaurants along the highway. Even if you grew up there you might still not know what all has been slung up against the road or behind it.

You drive to the feed store and then get in your car and drive down to Winn-Dixie then get in your car and drive across to the service station and then get in your car and hit the ABC store, which you by now are happy to encounter, to be relieved of the annoyance, disarray or maze you’ve flung yourself in to. Bring in bulldozers, wipe out the whole stretch of Moffett Road and build a connected town center where walking and bicycles are welcome and cars are tolerated but not kingpin.

On this stretch change the speed limit to 30 – sorry truckers and psychotic drivers we appreciate all that you do, but we live here and you are probably just plowing through.

Prichard Rising From the Ashes

Incredibly, Prichard has the blueprint in place for a model city center, or downtown. However, lots of excited talk about a new Prichard though stimulating for the cardiovascular, fails to impress on the street. Progress appears slow if not perpetually stalled.

As a boy I lived in Prichard, on Main Street across from Bagwell Boats, around the corner from Prichard Glass where my father worked. At that time there was a lively downtown, an easy walk from the house, and the park was open with a zoo and a swimming pool. But those were the George Wallace years and not everyone was allowed to swim in the pool, a sad page in our history.

The current Prichard seems to suffer from fiscal lethargy sprinkled with pep talk dreams of how it can and should be. As there appears to be no major industry or employer in the city, it suffers urban blight and a high level of poverty and drug-related crime. To be fair, talk of revitalization chatter has picked up and perhaps this time the little sister leaning on Mobile’s shoulder can lose her girlish slouch and grow up? Too bad the residents don’t rise and take control of the situation.

View of the County from a Bicycle

In a symbolic probably useless finger gesture to OPEC and oil men ( like an ant biting an elephant) I have been riding a bicycle to a nearby shopping center when requiring only a few items. I wear a small backpack and of course ride in the grass off the road. The other day another biker and I nearly collided on the same path, he shaking his head saying this was a first and I agreeing with the retort “better get used to it.” If there were bike lanes I’d ride even further, but there are not and likely will not be in foreseeable future.

Nodine Turns Thirty . .

At the July 9 meeting we learn from a spectator it’s Steven Nodine’s birthday, but of course the date was programmed into my Palm Treo so he should be in receipt of the Cessna I bought him and that he will need in the continued fight and flights for the tanker in Mobile through the rest of this year.

There was presentation to the Mobile FBI office in advance of their 100th anniversary here, which began on July 28, 1908 when I was just a lad. They opened office with 14 agents and now have a whopping 100, at least three of whom are assigned to watch me, a left-leaning liberal who in moments of political narcissism tells the world he can’t wait for the Bush dynasty chapter to conclude on January 20, 2009.

County Commission intern Jerron Thomas was recognized for being Youth of the Year by the Optimist Club, and the ever gracious Mary Zoghby brought the commission up to date on Cub Scout activities.

No doubt you’ve seen the sign promising car tags in 10 minutes, by the blond, vivacious Kim Hastie, well she was present and Steven Nodine let her know he was still waiting (way past 10 minutes) on something he had asked her to do – who knows, maybe it was his official county car tag . . .kudos to County Commission PIO Dena Pollard for keeping all up to date on schedule changes, special meetings and other info, and the new MobileCounty.org web site by SiteOne is pretty awesome.

Contact Preston Brady at preston@lagniappemobile.com.

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