Mobile Magnified

Oh my! Fights over body casts and hepatitis

Can you believe it? Six years of this nonsense. I’m still writing it, and apparently you are still reading it. I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Oh, I kid. I get it. Where else are you going to find “news” about a local politico getting “stuck” to someone (and not with glue), news folks playing tonsil hockey at various establishments and dueling tattoo artists?

I can’t think of a single other “news” source in town.

I’m not sure what that says about either of us. But who cares, it’s fun. And I’ve always said (well, since seeing “The Shining,”) “all work and no play makes Boozie a dull girl.” But his gig has definitely been all play and no work. So let me just grab my axe and stick my head through the doors of your gossip hungry houses and scream, “Here’s Boooo-zie!”

Lower Alabama Ink Wars

There’s a tough side to the world of tattooing and piercing you probably won’t ever see on Chassity Ebbole’s cable access show. Or at least that’s what Boozie was led to believe after reading a complaint filed in Mobile County Circuit Court recently in which the buxom Inkster is suing her former Dauphin Street competitors.

Chassity, who has made a name and reputation for herself as the owner of L.A. Body Art for many years, filed a defamation lawsuit June 9 against Demented Needle owners Paul Averette and Reginald Weaver recently, alleging that they had slandered her.

Oh my!

According to the filing, Averette and Weaver, “have orally communicated to third persons false and malicious statements including, but not limited to, statements that Chassity has hepatitis and that if tattooed or pierced at L.A. Body Art, potential customers would be exposed to hepatitis.”

Yow!

Now we’d heard there was some irritation in LoDa when the Demented Needle opened and infringed on Chassity’s monopoly on the downtown tattoo set, but this is really something. Chassity’s filing also claims the Demented boys libeled her and invaded her privacy.

The invasion of privacy part is particularly interesting. According to the filing, Averette and Weaver have made “unauthorized and unlicensed use of a body casting of Chassity Ebbole by Dale Donohue.”

Oh, I hate it when that happens! When you make a body cast, you expect it to be used tastefully and in a fully licensed and authorized fashion. At least that’s what my mamma taught me.

Anyway, according to Chassity’s lawsuit, the Demented Needle guys took her body cast and put it in their front window, adorned it with black flowers, occult symbols and “shaped horns,” whatever that means. (What are unshaped horns?)

According to the suit, Chassity is upset because Donohue supposed agreed her body casting was for his “private use” only. OK, am I the only one who wonders what THAT is supposed to mean?

The suit claims the use of the body cast has caused confusion and deception among the public, who think Chassity gave her permission. “Given Chassity’s standing reputation and notoriety in the tattoo, entertainment and professional fighting communities, this is a clear attempt to promote the defendants’ own nearby business…,” the complaint reads. I see.

I can’t help wondering why Chassity didn’t just go down there and box those boys down. At any rate, she seems to have decided to get out rather than fight, as she moved L.A. Body Art out of downtown. She’s asking for unspecified damages.

No word on whether this suit will ever actually see the light of day, but if it does, it should be a doozey.

Tom Waits looks to the stars

According to our spies, the legendary Tom Waits, who played the Saenger Theatre Wednesday July, 2, has a very strange way of picking his tour dates. Apparently, he takes a zodiac sign and puts it on a map and wherever the points land, he plays. Our spies were not sure which constellation gave Mobile such good fortune, but the other cosmic stops on the tour included, Phoenix, El Paso, Houston, Dallas, St. Louis, Columbus, Knoxville, Jacksonville, Mobile, Birmingham and Atlanta.

Maybe the P-R’s astronomy guy, Mark Kent, can figure it out for us.

Anyway, the concert was just shy of selling out and considered a huge success. I hear it was a phenomenol show, but apparently they are still trying to clean up some sort of sparkly stuff he threw all over the stage. Oh well, a small price to pay, I guess.

Another “Starr” story

Speaking of legends, a few of the Fruit Loop spies celebrated the Fourth of July at the Beau Rivage in Biloxi and spotted Beatles’ drummer Ringo Starr at the Olives Bar in the Beau. Starr played the casino Saturday, July 5.

Madonna contest

OK. This sounds like a train wreck in the making, and I’m sure the Fruti Loop spies will have a full report for us in the next issue, but apparently, B-Bob’s (who won two Nappies for Best Alt Lifestyle Bar and Best Place to Shake Your Booty) is having a contest for folks to do their best Madonna impersonations. The first round was held Friday, July 11. The next one will be August 1. And the finals will be August 22. The winner will win a pair of tickets to her sold-out show in Houston.

Mobile 5-0 in the OGD

One of our editors, her realtor and beau recently met to sign the final papers before closing on a house in the Oakleigh Garden District. While they were standing in the yard, suddenly a swarm of police cars pulled up in front of the house and cops jumped out with their guns drawn and started running around all over the place, including into the garage of the house the editor plans to buy. One of the officers told the trio to get in their cars and get down, so of course, they did, not knowing what was going on. (Apparently they were chasing the kids who robbed the Dollar General on Government and Catherine last week and had fled into the OGD on foot.)

They were all very impressed by the Mobile Police Department’s amazing and overwhelming response, especially “the cop in plain clothes and jeans,” who jumped the editor’s soon-to-be picket fence in pursuit of the perp.

They even had cops on horses down the street, according to our witnesses.

“It was really cool, like nothing I have ever seen before,” one said.

See, they do a lot more than check insurance cards, people!

Sounds amazing. And even more amazing, the editor is still buying the house (without a armed robbery discount even). That realtor must have some mad skills. Anyway, the timing of the whole situation couldn’t have been more bizarre, so I had to mention it. And I hope get to see the “swarm” one day. Wait, no I don’t.

Bye to the Bucks

A little Seattle business reporting birdie told me last week the following four “underperforming” Mobile Starbucks will close this month: 9 Du Rhu Dr., 4401 Old Shell Rd., 6601 Airport Blvd., and at 5611 Old Shell Rd. I’m sure that will be music to the ears of some local coffee shop owners.

And Lagniappe, who was not allowed to distribute in the shops because of some sort of corporate BS, would like to offer this as a cautionary tale to all future corporate outfits, tell your HQ, it’s bad luck to kick the Lag-nuh-pipe out.

Joe Cain Café Par-tay

Please join us in celebrating six years of Lagniappe at the 2008 Nappie Awards after-party at the Joe Cain Café inside the Battle House Hotel around 9 p.m., Wednedsay, July 16 (see what happens if you don’t pick up the paper the minute it comes out, you miss good parties. That’ll teach you!). Anyway, it should be easy to find, as the RSA tower will be glowing in Lagniappe purple and the Joe Cain staff will be serving up concotions they are calling the Purple Happy Nappie.

Well kids, that’s all I got for this issue. But next one, I’ll have all your Nappie party scoop and all the rest of the usual junk. Thanks for six great years! And remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ body cast lovin’, I will be there. Ciao.

Boozie Beer Nues is Lagniappe social butterfly. Contact her at boozie@lagniappemobile.com.

Archives