Libra (9/23-10/22) — You’ll come to an office party dressed as “sexy Donald Trump.” The highly political nature of the costume won’t offend your coworkers, but the off-putting nature of the red, white and blue Speedo will.
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Armed with a grey suit, a partial bald cap and a cheery disposition, you’ll greet trick-or-treaters as Mobile Mayor Sandy Stimpson. When you tell the kids you’ve slashed your candy budget, they won’t be pleased.
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — With a spyglass and keyboard in hand, you’ll walk door to door in Fairhope as Mayor Karin Wilson. Praised by some and maligned by others, you’ll set your own trick-or-treating course and leave the past behind.
Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — You’ll transform an old sloppy Joe-stained shirt and cutoff jean shorts into an “internet commenter” costume. To get further into character, you’ll constantly berate other people’s costume choices as Halloween gets closer.
Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — In a stroke of genius you’ll throw on a headset, along with a pantsuit and a Cajun accent and trick or treat as a mashup of Hillary Clinton and LSU coach Ed Orgeron. It’s an easy character to pull off, as you’ll go door to door complaining about constantly losing.
Pisces (2/19-3/20) — You’ll finally find a use for those cargo shorts sitting in the back of your chest of drawers as you’ll go to a Halloween party dressed as every professional photographer you’ve ever known. Everyone there will take a photo of you from their phones.
Aries (3/21- 4/19) — Dressed in all black, with the bristles from a chimney brush atop your head and a “Mobtown” shirt on, you’ll attend a friend’s Halloween party as actor Nicolas Cage, resonating with partygoers. Your inability to act goes well with the costume.
Taurus (4/20-5/20) — You’ll be filled with rage (and lots of beer) when you’re named runner-up at a homemade costume contest. Your hard work and sweat to perfect a human table tennis costume will be overlooked in favor of a store-bought Scooby-Doo ensemble. “Zoinks!” you’ll think as you’ll lose out on the money.
Gemini (5/21-6/21) — Keeping with the times, you’ll do your trick or treating online — bouncing from inbox to inbox collecting candy emojis and showing off your Halloween avatar. However, like the real-world experience, things get a bit hairy when old man Jenkins starts responding to messages in nothing but his slippers.
Cancer (6/22-7/22) — You’ll be the center of attention as you arrive at the Halloween party dressed as a bag of cheddar cheese pretzel Combos. Never nutritious but always delicious, some will testify to your role as a combination meal replacement and antidepressant.
Leo (7/23-8/22) — Your busy schedule and lack of creative ambition will have you arrive to the party as “T-shirt and jeans guy.” You will immediately be labeled as a boring wallflower, but you’ll have an important role to play nodding in approval of other people’s efforts.
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — The costume you’ve planned for Halloween will go mostly unnoticed despite a full corncob suit and the iconic glasses and goatee of Kentucky Fried Chicken’s founder. Only a handful of people will laugh when you reveal yourself as “Kernel Sanders.”