Photo | Courtesy of NBC
SNL’s Leslie Jones took on Alabama lawmakers on the show’s season finale.
We came. We saw. We hanged. We burned. We salved. We crawled back to work on Monday, with awkward tan lines and sand in strange places.
Yup, another Hangout Festival is in the books, and it did not disappoint. I’ve got all of your body glitter-covered scoop right here in my ironic fanny pack, and I’m ready to unzip it and dish it out to you. I just need to let the sweat dry first. Don’t worry, it will only take a minute.
Also, there were crawfish boils aplenty on both sides of the bay, and we’ve got some of the many mentions of Alabama at Hangout Fest and on network television. It seems we may have made national news … again. Whaaaaat?
So let’s get on it, doggonit!
Let it all hang out
Thousands of folks flocked to the beaches of Gulf Shores for the 10th annual Hangout Music Festival. Many of the artists, like the 1975, morgxn and Walk the Moon, took time to comment on Alabama’s freshly passed and highly restrictive abortion law and other fun stuff like that.
Body glitter and weird “wiener bikieners” were in abundance, per usual, as were lots of high-waisted denim jean shorts. God bless the girls who can pull those things off and bless the ones who can’t but try even more.
On Friday, right after the gates opened a man was seen running out the festival with the police chasing him on foot. He was arrested in short order. No word on what charges, but I am sure we all have a pretty good guess.
On Saturday, the highlight was a surprise appearance by the Gulf Coast’s own Jimmy Buffett, who played “Margaritaville.” He was also sporting his “Coral Reefer” merch, a CBD product line he has partnered on. I love the logo — a pot leaf on a palm tree base. It’s pretty perfect — kudos to that graphic designer. He later documented the experience on his Instagram page.
Sunday Fun Day did not disappoint as Cardi B and The Lumineers brought things to a close. Another great year. We can’t wait until number 11!
Heads sucked; no arrests made
Crawfish were in danger on both sides of the bay last weekend as the annual St. Mary’s Crawfish & Bluegrass Extravaganza took place on Saturday, followed the next day by the Sixth Annual “Suck It, Cancer!” Crawfish Cookoff at Fairhope Brewing.
Boozie’s spy — Agent Crawdaddy — managed to attend both events and, at great intestinal risk, peeled his way through box after box of mudbugs in the name of charity and sheer gluttony. Crawdaddy said the weather Saturday was perfect, as was the music provided by Phil & Foster, followed by Fatman Squeeze. The only thing hotter than the crawfish were the guitar licks!
A large, happy crowd helped put more than 1,500 pounds of crawfish out of their misery and a good time was passed by all.
While the weather wasn’t quite as friendly in Fairhope Sunday, the crowds were undaunted and lined up to sample the offerings from six different teams who aimed to take home one of the more delightfully homemade trophies Crawdaddy said he’s seen in years. It was taken home by the team from Bryant Bank.
More than 1,000 pounds of mudbugs died for the cause, and they were gobbled up so quickly, organizers ran out an hour early. Fortunately there were plenty of cold locally produced brews to wash down the heat from those crawfish, potatoes, sausages and cloves of garlic, and singer/songwriter Stephen Sylvester helped keep the party going. The whole shindig raised money for the American Cancer Society, and Fairhope Brewing donated $1 of each beer to ACS.
“SNL” takes on Alabama senators
It should come as no surprise late-night comedians have taken to skewering Alabama’s lawmakers over the newly passed abortion law. And “Saturday Night Live” took its turn on the season finale last weekend.
Cast member Leslie Jones made an appearance on “Weekend Update” dressed in a “Handmaid’s Tale” costume. She eventually shed it to reveal a T-shirt with the word “MINE” written on it with an arrow pointing down to her lady parts.
A photo of all 25 Alabama senators who voted for the bill — all of them men — appeared on screen, as she delivered an epic rant.
“This looks like the casting call for a Lipitor commercial. This looks like the mug shots of everyone arrested at a massage parlor. If any of them had lips, I’d tell them to kiss my entire a*s,” she said.
“You can’t control women, because I don’t know if y’all heard, but women are the same as humans,” Jones said. “Why do all of these weird-ass men care what we do with our bodies anyway? I don’t care about your 65-year-old droopy-a*s balls.”
Ewwww, I definitely did not want to have a mental image of any of their testicles but now I do.
Make it go away! Make it go away!
Well kids, that’s all I got this issue. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ Coral Reefer lovin’ (Dude!), I will be there. Ciao!
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