How many weather-related disputes, debates and discussions have you had with your spouse, partner, beau, boo or whatever you call your other half? That goes for roommates, too. Maybe it’s a heated conversation that starts with the thermostat. What’s yours set at — 65, 68, 72, 75, 80? How many times did you both debate, negotiate and then agree to leave it at a specific temperature only to go back later and see it was changed mysteriously. Maybe you need to use a camera to catch the culprit.

Is that a gale-force wind? Who cranks the ceiling fan to top speed, generating high pressure and blowing papers all over the room? Who fails to turn on the exhaust fan, which is designed to create low pressure and draw humidity and odors out of the kitchen or bathroom like a waterspout lifting sea spray?

One of you creates a flash flood in the kitchen, on the counter and maybe on the floor, preparing a simple meal. Is that the same person who dumps debris down the drain, leading to a sewage backup in the commode? Ewwwww. Turn around, don’t drown.

Which of you demonstrates the water cycle, contributing condensation and a higher dew point temperature in the house? Whoever languishes the longest in a hot shower is guilty. The clouds of vapor left behind are evidence. However, that may not be the same person who lets the bread get soggy. That person forgets if you put the bread next to something really cold, the moisture in the bread condenses.

One of you prefers every light in every room to be on to give the impression of high noon in the Sonoran Desert. If the bulbs are the older, incandescent type, that’s a lot of heat.

One of you sets up the global warming scenario every night by piling on blankets, trapping heat. The other is forced to adapt to the changing climate by shedding garments. Maybe that was the plan?

Who makes thunderous noise moving around the room while the other is trying to sleep?

Which of you opens the shades or blinds to let the sun in? That’s good in winter, but not-so-great in summer when the sun quickly heats your house — or if you are in your birthday suit.

Who spends more time holding the refrigerator door open, thinking, deciding, daydreaming? It doesn’t cool the entire kitchen, but it does make the fridge work harder and it raises the electric bill a bit.

Who has sweaty relatives who visit too often, hurling hot air in too-long conversations? That sounds like relative humidity.

Who knew there was so much meteorology in matrimony and cohabitation?!

Alan Sealls is chief meteorologist at NBC15 and an adjunct meteorology professor at the University of South Alabama.