Photo | Boozie Spy
Playing possum? Um, maybe not. It looks like “Dateline” may be making a trip to Mobile’s Chateauguay neighborhood to get to the bottom of the murder of a beloved possum.
Greetings, my gossip-loving fiends! I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and didn’t get too out of hand at your various adult egg hunts. Yes, the booze may come in small bottles but it is just as powerful. Trust me, I can attest. Never mix vodka and gin. Someone needs to needlepoint that on a pillow for me!
Anyway, aside from those shenanigans, it was an absolutely glorious weekend, celebrating with friends and family. How much ham and how many deviled eggs can one person eat? I can tell you, it’s an obscene amount. Obscene!
But you aren’t here for that. Nope, you want to know all the craziness that’s been going on. Luckily, I collected it all for you and put it in a big, yellow Easter basket. Because I know you’d rather have the scoop than a bunch of Peeps any day of the week and twice on Easter Sunday, so I obliged! You’re welcome! Now enjoy!
Thank you, Easter bunny, whoever you are
First, a leprechaun in Crichton. Now, a mysterious Easter bunny in midtown and Oakleigh. What is it about Mobile and mythical creatures?
Sources have confirmed an unidentified bunny “egged” yards throughout the OGD and midtown sometime in the wee hours of Easter morning. Residents woke up to find eggs in their yards. I’m sure many were hoping to find money, booze or even the leprechaun’s gold, but instead they found a note with a winking Easter Bunny that read, “April Fool’s.”
I’m glad this bunny pulled a good April Fool’s Day joke. With the first day of April falling on Easter Sunday, I feel like the level of pranks was sadly at record lows. So kudos, mysterious MiMo Easter bunny, for bringing a little April foolery to town!
A tisket, a tasket, a motorcycle pulling a casket
Over the last couple of weeks I have had several reports from around the Gulf Coast of a motorcycle pulling a casket. The first sightings started a couple of weeks ago. A man wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket and matching black helmet was spotted pulling a full-sized casket behind him. We heard he was spotted in Dauphin Island, Bayou La Batre and Saraland. No word on whether he is really hauling folks to their final resting place or just what is going on here, but that would be a pretty cool ride to your final resting place. Just sayin’.
Possum murderer on the loose?
I got a report from one of my spies in the midtown neighborhood of Chateauguay that a possum had possibly been murdered in their ‘hood. It seems the freaky-looking mammal was spotted dead on the side of the road. I know what you are thinking. He probably just got hit by a car, as is the cause of death for most possums.
But what made this so intriguing is that the possum seemed to have a sharp metal object sticking out of his side, leading this neighbors to ask, “Could this be MUR-DER?” Was it Colonel Mustard with a dagger in the cellar?
Before an autopsy could be performed, the body mysteriously disappeared. (Or maybe animal control just picked it up.) Either way, this mystery will remain unsolved. But possums should stay on high alert in case a serial killer is on the prowl.
Well, kids, that’s all I got this week. With reports coming in from spring break and SouthSounds, Mobile Bay Restaurant Week and some of my fave charity events coming up, there is certain be a ton of gossip to satiate our insatiable appetites. But until then, just remember — whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just plain ol’ possum murder, I will be there. Ciao!
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