1702 to 1819
In the year 1702, the city of Mobile appeared. There were no influences or immigrants from other countries. If there had been, there would be flags displayed depicting these countries. It is clear to see there are no flags from this time period, so it is clear that no other countries had anything to do with the founding of Mobile. It is important to note there was no conflict, wars, slavery or any incidents of anyone being offended in the period from 1702 until 1819. Such things can only occur when a geographic territory has the flag of a country flying over it, and it is clear that there were no flags flying over Mobile at this time. Mobilians lived a utopian life of dreams and looked forward to a day when they’d have moonpies, maritime museums and soccer complexes.

Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville, colonizer, politician, dreamer of soccer complexes and moonpies.

Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville, colonizer, politician, dreamer of soccer complexes and moonpies.


1819 to 1861
Alabama became a state in 1819. Since Mobile was a part of Alabama, and Alabama joined the Union, also known as the United States of America, a flag flew over Mobile for the first time, the flag of the United States. Under this flag, all wars were just, treatment of all people, including Native Americans and African immigrants, was fair, there was no slavery and no one ever was offended and no one was offensive. If such things had happened while Mobile was under the flag of the United States of America, the U.S. flag would be removed and no references would be made to it outside of a museum. Mobilians continued to live a utopian life and dreamed and looked forward to a day when they’d have moonpies, maritime museums and soccer complexes.

1861 to 1865
Due to bad people doing bad things, this period of history was rewritten several times, then deleted in its entirety. There was no flag flying over Mobile during this period in history. It is important to note that there was no conflict, wars, slavery or any incidents of anyone being offended in the period from 1861 to 1865. As previously stated, such things can only occur when a geographic territory has the flag of a country flying over it, and it is clear that there were no flags flying over Mobile at this time. Mobilians lived a utopian life and dreamed and looked forward to a day when they’d have moonpies, maritime museums, and soccer complexes.

1865 to the present
When history began again in 1865, the U.S. flag once more flew over the city of Mobile. Once again, during this period all wars were just, treatment of all people, including Native Americans and African-Americans, was fair, there was no slavery and no one ever was offended and no one was offensive. If such things had happened while Mobile was under the flag of the United States of America, the U.S. flag would be removed and no references would be made to it outside of a museum. Mobilians continued to live a utopian life, and actually got their moonpies. They continued to dream and looked forward to a day when they’d have maritime museums and soccer complexes.

It’s important to note that during this period. Mobile’s form of city government underwent a radical change. For many years, Mobile had a city commission form of government with three city commissioners who were elected, and the position/title of mayor rotated between the three commissioners. Their standard for projects was more often than not personal enrichment for themselves and their friends and associates. Much of Mobile’s historic past was destroyed in projects that benefited the commissioners and their friends. Mobile’s municipal auditorium ceased being a place that had frequent concerts and became largely abandoned, except at Mardi Gras. This was due to the operations and motivations of these city commissioners.

There had to be a better way to govern, so in 1985, the city abandoned the city commission form of government and adopted a mayor-council form of government. Some of the old city commissioners were convicted of crimes and went to jail. Now, a new way to create projects and action items was added to personal enrichment for elected officials and their friends and associates. Now council members could declare that they were offended, or that racism had been detected, and immediately most of the other council members would agree and do whatever the council member who was offended wanted.  

And Mobilians continue to live a utopian life, enjoy their moonpies, and dream and look forward to a day when they have maritime museums and soccer complexes.

Tony Oberkirch is a native Mobilian working in the technology industry who describes himself as a history enthusiast.