Hmmm. The University of South Alabama now joins the ranks of those who encourage ambiguity in sexual identity. I got a big kick out of the symbol.

Let’s be sure I get this straight. I get to decide, for whatever reason (no proof is required of me for this decision), that I am female (I am male, I think, based on my observation of what is in my pants), then I can go into any restroom I choose at USA whether labeled with a half-skirt or not.

This is not an issue if the restroom in question is a one-holer, as I can lock the door to keep out all comers, whether decided or undecided. However, if the rest room is a multiholer, then there can be issues concerning sexual predators and Peeping Toms or Tomettes. But for now let’s set these less-weighty measures aside and deal with the top-of-the-heap issue.

If what I think, or feel emotionally, is what I am, then suppose I emote that I am an American Indian trapped in an Anglo-Saxon’s body. Will USA then accommodate me by making American Indian scholarships available? Why, of course not, the scholarship office would say. I would have to prove genetically my American Indian roots.

Wait a minute, I reply, why would I have to prove my background genetically when the half-skirt crowd does not have to prove itself genetically? Just because I have the genetic traits of an Anglo-Saxon should not have any bearing on the decision any more than having male or female genitalia should determine which restroom I enter.

If I was tested genetically there would not be any American Indian blood in me, or at least not much, and if the sexually ambiguous were tested genetically there would be XY chromosomes in the male crowd and XX chromosomes in the female crowd. However, none of this should have any bearing on the matter, only what we emote.

To take this one step further, several people who might read this will think I am an idiot trapped within what appears to be a non-idiot body. Well, if what I emote about my sexuality is the determining factor, then how long before what others emote about me (idiot in a non-idiot-appearing body) is the determining factor? In this case, would USA then accommodate me by providing a short bus, football helmet, paper towels and Windex so I can practice safe window licking?

Robert Mahan (or is it Roberta Mahan?)