Even though it’s Lent, this spring weather has already gotten you guys all randy. Some peeps are proposing, others are meeting in secret and chanting in costume and still others are playing practical jokes on each other. Ahh, along with the azaleas, so blooms the naughtiness. Mobile, you really are so crazy. Thank you.

AJ proposes with a fat ring and delicious cake

Local hero and University of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron recently proposed to his main squeeze former Miss Alabama/swimsuit model/Hardee’s ad reality swimming show star Katherine Webb, breaking hearts all across the state and nation, including that of Brent Musburger, who made the couple famous after famously drooling over her during one football broadcast. She must thank God every day for that man.

Apparently, the proposal took place at the restaurant at The Beach Club in Gulf Shores, and she said yes. Webb immediately put pics of her ring on social media, saying AJ designed it himself. It is beautiful, so if this whole pro QB thing doesn’t work out, AJ, I think jewelry design could be a good backup plan.

But also featured in Webb’s pictures were images of the cake he used to propose — done by none other than Tara Woolsey at Couture Cakes in downtown Daphne. So, Brent, no need to eat your heart out, just have some cake. Boozie will have a slice too!

Speaking of AJ, we hear he and his momma Dee Dee Bonner were spotted watching the musical stylings of the fabulous Johnny No a couple of weeks ago at The Garage. Kat was not there. Perhaps AJ was getting pointers from his mom on how to propose?

Double, double toil and trouble

A group of local artists, playwrights, photographers and other artsy folks in the community have been coming together to share their multi-generational talents over food and drink in gatherings they have dubbed “Night Kitchens.” Their most recent gathering took place last week.

Since it occurred during Lent, their theme was “penitence” and the featured color was “purple,” which was tied in with the Roman Catholic’s seasonal observations. They asked those who wanted to come in costume to use anything along those lines. Or come dressed as their favorite sin. (How would Boozie dress as gluttony? I’ll have to put some thought into that.)

My top secret Night Kitchen agent said the group began with an incantation, as they have done at their previous gatherings. (Thankfully, since Mobile is not 1692 Salem, Mass., no one was arrested and subsequently hung as a result of said nocturnal chanting.)
Several guests had their own parts but the group as a whole chanted the following:

Forgive you me, forsake us all,
Shortcomings of frailty and dust,
Feet of clay through forty days,
Tread paths of regret and rust.

Forsake you me, forgive us all,
Wilt away attendant pretensions
Sizzle and char atonement’s pain,
On the grill of our Night Kitchen

Forgive you me, forsake us all,
Shortcomings of frailty and dirt,
Feet of clay through forty days,
Ascend above lingering hurt.

Forsake you me, forgive us all,
Burn away at clinging pretension
Let rise the loaves of revelation
Atop the ovens of our Night Kitchen

Taken in order, the whole incantation formed an arc of harmony, then transgression, then redemption, the spy said. (People reading this from out of town: yes Mobilians are crazy, but it’s part of the appeal, so don’t judge. By God, we’ll chant in costume if we want to!)

One local playwright’s costume was a bishop›s robes and hat from purple satin, carrying peacock feathers. He was the Bishop of Bling that was recently busted for misappropriating funds.

Another attendee dressed as Tom Joad from “The Grapes of Wrath,” while another came dressed as a mockingbird hunter since Atticus Finch told Scout it was a sin to kill a mockingbird, in “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
The main dinner course was alligator sausage on birds’ nests of braised purple cabbage and eggplant.
After dinner, the guests all shared some of their artistic works with one another.

April Fool’s Day shenanigans

On the first day of April, it’s always hard to believe anything you hear. But some folks were fairly successful in their pranks.

On Tim and LeeAnn Camp’s morning radio show, “TLC in the Morning,” on 92 ZEW, The Weather Channel’s Jennifer Nittoso gave a convincing forecast that a rare winter storm would be hitting the Gulf Coast later in the week, bringing snow to the area. I think even Tim and LeeAnn believed it for a second. But who wouldn’t with all the crazy weather this year.

Also, on Sean Sullivan’s noon talk radio show on FM Talk 106.5, Sullivan read a “press release” he got from the police department regarding a new anti-littering campaign. From the “take back our medians campaign,” the “41” campaign would see MPD officers setting up roadblocks and checking to see how much “litter paraphernalia” people had in their cars. If litter in the car made it past a certain point on the Marvin-Oscar (famous slobs Messy Marvin and Oscar the Grouch) Scale, the cops could actually detain the potential litterbugs.

Sounds silly enough in print but Sullivan pulled it off well and had more than a few listeners fuming, talking about lawsuits and moving to Baldwin. There was even one who managed to link the oppressive new policy to Obama. Sullivan let his fish off the hook after roughly 10 hilarious minutes.
And as the paper went to press at noon on April Fool’s, we were sent a release saying Mobile’s own all male dance troupe, The Prancing Elites would be on “Tosh.O” on Comedy Central at 9 p.m. that evening. So we sure hope that wasn’t just another goofy joke. We pity the April fool who wouldn’t want to see our Elites get more national exposure. I hope Tosh wasn’t too rough on them though. We’ll have an update on that for you next issue letting you know if this really happened. .

Well kids, that’s all I got this week. I’ll be back next week, yes next week (yikes!), with more oh-so-tasty gossip for you! Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just plain ol’ engagement cake lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!