Author: Doctor Zodiac

Libra (9/23-10/22) — Unfamiliar with the proper siphoning technique, you’ll accidentally swallow...

Virgo (8/23-9/22) — Despite your wife’s repeated urging, you’ll fail to secure a lantern, candles...

Virgo (8/23-9/22) — You’ll be first to take the friendly foreign skies when Mobile opens its new...

Virgo (8/23-9/22) — Getting your dates mixed up, you’ll accidentally launch into a protest for...

Virgo (8/23-9/22) — After falling asleep watching clips from the Republican National Convention,...

Leo (7/23-8/22) — In what should have been predictable, you’ll fall off a ladder while trying to...

Leo (7/23-8/22) — Trying to find a way around the stalled discussion on annexation, you’ll present...

Leo (7/23-8/22) — A few weeks after you plant mysterious seeds from China in your backyard garden,...

Leo (7/23-8/22) — You’ll accidentally violate the city’s noise ordinance while blasting Taylor...

Cancer (6/22-7/22) — You, unable to agree with the most basic news of the day, will instead lock...