Author: Doctor Zodiac

Aries (3/21-4/19) — Your attempt at the Azalea Trail Run’s 10K stretches a few Ks farther after you’re diverted by a detour around the utility crews who have been working on the power lines for the past 100 years. Your reward is...

Pisces (2/19-3/20) — When a gust of wind blows your kite into a tree, you’ll be mistaken for the Crichton leprechaun and featured on the 6 o’clock news. The fervor will only die down after Mr. Willie’s ice cream truck drives...

Pisces (2/19-3/20) — Now that the Winter Olympics are over, you can refocus your energy on your pickleball career. Games are every Saturday at Palmer Pillans Middle School. Book a nonstop flight to the Badminton Hall of Fame....

Pisces (2/19-3/20) — With the return of warmer weather, you’ll put on some too-short shorts and accidentally expose yourself during a bike ride. “I thought it felt a little breezy in here.” You win a bronze medal in cracking...

Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — Your prowess on the washboard will finally come in handy as you join The Pine Hill Haints on stage. You’ll be dismissed after attempting a solo with a musical saw. You’ll host the inaugural ball of the...