Taurus: Stick ’em up!
Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — In an attempt to make your house visible from Jeff Bezos’ space, you’ll...
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Author: Doctor Zodiac
Leo: Your light display is hideous
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — It’s January 28, 2022 and you’ve just finished watching the first episode of Netflix’s “Home Team,” where Kevin James portrays Saints’ coach Sean Payton. After the final credits roll, you’ll throw...
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Aries: The perfect Advent crime awaits
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — As a classic Sagittarius, you’re calm, collected and mature....
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Scorpio: Hey, that was my grandma!
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — After escaping the voodoo of Auburn Jesus, you, an Alabama fan, will...
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Libra: you’re no bourbon connoisseur
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — You’ll absolutely lose it this week when a wave of recycled...
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Pisces: You’re obsessed with Long Beach tankers
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Despite being asked multiple times, you’ll convince your wife that you...
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Taurus: Release your inner Collinsworth
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Worried about greenhouse gas emissions after watching one documentary,...
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Leo: I’d like to see that!
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — After hearing about a Texas special teams coach’s problems with a pet...
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Virgo: What is find another career?
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Your new downtown restaurant idea will go stale quickly after the...
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Pisces: Time for Poopapalooza
Libra (9/23-10/22) — Inspired by “Squid Game,” you introduce a consequential adult twist to an...
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