October is going to be the death of this gossip columnist. There’s just too much going on I tell you, too much! I’ve never seen so much great live music lined up in 30 days. It’s crazy! I mean it’s awesome but it’s insane.

My spies are going to be claiming overtime. I hope the gossip department budget can handle it. And of course, their livers. But at this point, I have determined they must be absolutely indestructible.

BayFestin!

You could not have asked for more glorious weather for BayFest. It was absolutely perfect, so I was a little surprised the turnout seemed to be a bit light, but I guess with so much going on from football to other fall festivals, along with said glorious weather, it shouldn’t be that surprising. But those who didn’t make it certainly lost out because there was much to be seen on and off the stages.

Random sightings

At The Roots show Saturday night, a couple in Bienville Square literally decided to get wrapped up in one another. These lovebirds brought a big ‘ol bedspread with them and put it around them so tightly they looked like a love burrito. With extra cheese, I might add.

Speaking of BayFest loving, one randy couple engaged in a pretty intense make-out session right outside of the VIP area on Royal Street Saturday night. They were leaning up against a wall going to town, which is not that unusual at a music festival, but they each had an empty yard-long daiquiri cup in their hand. And neither one ever let their cup go during the rather lengthy session. Perhaps this new litter law really is working!

After all this lovin’, comes babies. Well, sometimes. But there were some pretty creepy looking babies in the kids’ area spotted on Sunday. No, not actual babies. Those were all beautiful, of course. No, my spies said they kept seeing little girls toting around these rather strange looking flesh-colored balloon babies, with hair and faces drawn on them. Apparently while the babies were somewhat strange, the baby’s “bottle” reached a whole new level of weird.

“It looked like my daughter was feeding her baby with an A-cupped sized boob sans nipple,” one spy said. “But she seemed to love it, so who cares.” Not sure if she was referring to her daughter or the balloon baby. Maybe both!
For the record, I think all baby dolls are kind of creepy. It’s just something about their cold, dead eyes. Whaaaaaa!

After their Saturday night show, The Roots’ guitarist Captain Kirk Douglas showed up at Veet’s with local musician Ben Jernigan and had a little post-BayFest jam session.

Jane’s Addiction show shocks and awes

One of the most talked about shows was Jane’s Addiction’s on Saturday night. Frontman Perry Ferrell was chugging a bottle of vodka he eventually gave to someone on the front row. He was very talkative all night and claimed the last time they played in Alabama he was wearing a dress and had purple dreadlocks and got threatened by a KKK member. Not sure how he knew the Klan was after him, but OK. Some lady flashed him and he complimented her on her “assets.”

Jane’s Addiction’s performance at BayFest featured a burlesque suspension show.

Jane’s Addiction’s performance at BayFest featured a burlesque suspension show.

There were multiple appearances over the Coca-Cola stage during the weekend of a quadcopter “drone” with a camera attached, but when Perry noticed it he called it a UFO and tried to knock it out of the sky with a bouquet of flowers. Also two women in burlesque lingerie were suspended over the stage with hooks in their flesh while two others danced on stage. 

I’m told they flew out of Mobile the next day and had their shoes shined by the world famous Nelson Easterling at his stand, although he had no idea who they were. And they weren’t even flying first class. Could you imagine plopping down in the seat right next to Perry Farrell or Dave Navarro? Nothing would have been more shocking!

Riders on the storm

We always like to get our hands on the riders — the wacky things the bands request to have backstage or in their hotel rooms. This year we did get word of a couple of requests, though the names of the bands were withheld to protect the identity of the aging rock stars. But it will be fun for us to guess, right?

We hear one aging group of rockers requested B-12 shots before their set. What?! No whiskey shots? That’s against the rules in the rock star handbook.

And we hear one R&B band requested something like 100 towels total be placed in their hotel rooms. Perhaps they like frequent showers!

Go see the Mulligan Brothers while you still can

OK, so I’m just going to say it. I think the best show of BayFest was by our very own Mulligan Brothers. No, I’m not saying the best LOCAL show, I think it was the best show of the weekend. These guys are going to go far, so you better catch them while you can.

There was however one obnoxious dude on the front row, according to my front row spy. He was double fisting Miller Lites and screaming obscenities. My spy said he wasn’t quite certain why he was doing this, as he seemed to be enjoying the show immensely. They are pretty (expletive)-ing good, so maybe that is just how this dude expressed his enthusiasm.

Rotary Club’s 100th Anniversary Gala a smash hit

Move over fancy schmancy Mobile Mardi Gras parties since the beginning of time. Word on the street is the Rotary Club’s 100th Anniversary Gala at the Battle House Hotel on Thursday, Oct. 2 may have been the best party in the history of the Port City. I kid you not. Someone uttered those exact words to me.

My spies said the super swankiness was due in part to the uber-coolness of “interactive centerpieces” on the food tables, i.e. real live people dressed up as Bacchus (on the champagne table of course), a mermaid (on the seafood table) and Diana Goddess of Hunt (on the meat table). I am told the local event company of Barrett Greer was responsible for this over-the-top awesomeness. You can check out the photos and videos for yourself on their Facebook page.

Well kids, that’s all I got this time. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ lovin’ in a burrito, I will be there. Ciao!