They say time is the only way to sober up. Boozie is thinking it might be next week before I’m completely sober. For me, Mardi Gras was one long drunken extended weekend, blurred into what feels like one day. I’m kinda thinking that giving up drinking for Lent might not be such a bad thing. Who am I kidding, I wouldn’t last a day!

Life of the party
Friday night, before the Crewe of Columbus rolled past, a man standing across from Moe’s was putting on a show. Yeah, there was music but this man was dancing to his own beat. The younger crowd near him weren’t very impressed with his dance moves, but they were very entertaining to say the least. After he finished dancing he decided, since he had everyone’s attention, he would do one more thing to wow the crowd. He took his lit cigarette and put it out in his mouth. Everyone thought he swallowed it but he spit it back out. Yum!

Party gras
Mardi Gras brings out the best in people, and you see things you might not normally see. For example, a police officer making out in his girl’s car instead of watching for misbehaving folks. Hey, I guess everyone gotta get some love sometimes. And speaking of getting some love, Boozie saw a girl trying to pull a guy into the ladies’ room with her. She ended up getting him to accompany her. I guess she didn’t want to pee alone. It was sweet of him to go with her.

Boozie was at a ball and overheard a mom telling her daughter she used to embarrass her dad because she would dance on stage at Mardi Gras balls, and that she really wanted to get on stage and dance with SuperFunk Fantasy. The daughter begged her mom to not do it because she would be embarrassed too. She spared her of embarrassment but let Boozie down.

Boozie also heard there was an old man at OOM’s reception on Sunday who was sitting on a bench, and when girls would walk by he would use his cane to flip up their dresses. Boozie had a friend who fell victim to the dirty old man’s trick. Luckily she didn’t have on Spanx, she said. Drunk old men and Mardi Gras go together way too well.

Not so much party gras
Boozie can’t talk about Mardi Gras without bringing up what effects alcohol has on those who consume too much. Like Boozie seeing a guy Friday night throwing up in a parking lot. It was early in the night so he must have got the party started even earlier than the Boozester herself.

Later Friday night, Boozie’s spy sent her a picture of a man at a Mardi Gras ball taking a snooze. He’d found a row of chairs and claimed them as his new resting place. Poor guy was just sleepy, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol he consumed during the parade.

The party didn’t end there. Boozie was also informed by a spy of a girl who got a bloody nose. No word on how it happened but she had blood all over her and didn’t do a very good job cleaning up in the bathroom. Yuck!

Joe Cain Craziness
Joe Cain always brings the crazy folks down and there is always much to see. As I am writing this my own head is still aching from the festivities. Moe’s BBQ Downtown and Callaghan’s were the best places to party, I am told.

First off, Callaghan’s had their annual Joe Cain party with Grayson Capps and it was packed. They did their traditional second line in and I am told Grayson played for five hours and the place was full of “bada$$” musicians, including Duane Trucks.

Also in the OGD, The Krew of the Mystic Fish once again meandered through the streets of Oakleigh on its way to the Joe Cain Parade. This year’s bicycle float created by Tracy Hartley featured a large green fish. Hartley piloted it through the streets with almost no loss of human life or damage to the papier mache fish.

Master of Ceremonies Marion Hartley read the story of Joe Cain to a gathered throng on Roper Street before the march set off with the brass band, Blow, leading the way. Hartley’s bike float was also joined by one inspired by a can of liquid gold — Beeracuda.

Down at Moe’s BBQ, the Wild Mauvillians and Skeleton Crew partied into the night after their march in the Joe Cain procession. The Wild Mauvillians’ oyster shell necklaces have become the hottest throws of the season and they did not disappoint parade goers. Both groups looked great with their elaborate face paint and costumes. One marcher did spy a person who was riding a float in the Joe Cain procession throwing up off of the side of it. Nice!

Well kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. The spies are still recovering and sending in information, so be sure to check back next week for Fat Tuesday details! Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ pepper sprayin’, I will be there! Ciao!