Wedding bells and possum tales! What more could you possibly want from a gossip column? Oh, a Hugh Hefner sighting and a make-up wanting mutt? Well, you got it, my friends. Grab yourself a delicious cold cocktail. Go ahead, go grab one. Oh wait – what I am saying? I know you. You already have a cocktail in your hand. Well then, go right ahead and dig on into this delicious dish. It makes a perfect accompaniment to your adult beverage of choice. Bon appetit!

Royals wed in OBA

I’m sure you may have heard a little something about some couple who may have gotten hitched in Orange Beach last weekend. You would think it was Prince William and Kate renewing their vows or something but no, just a former Crimson Tide football player and his beauty queen/reality TV star/fast food hamburger advertising/swimsuit model bride. But I guess in Alabama, that is pretty darn close to royalty. So yes, it’s official. Former University of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron and Katherine Webb tied the knot at Orange Beach Methodist Church, certainly breaking Brent Musburger’s heart. A reception was held at The Wharf.

One spy said they had koozies with his football helmet and number on it and her Miss Alabama sash. But it did at least read “on to the next chapter,” so it seems they aren’t too stuck in their glory days. At least not yet.

Anyway, I am told Under Armour treated AJ and his groomsmen “really well,” and they should be all set on gear for a while. No stupid NCAA rules to worry about now! Also, the after party was just as fun as the reception as just a close group of friends hung out into the wee hours of the morning.

Well, we certainly wish the happy couple all the best! What Saban hath joined together, let no man put asunder!

Heff on LoDa?

Heffner

Aspiring “bunnies” were hopping all over LoDa after hearing the word that Hugh Hefner was cruising down Dauphin Street last Thursday with a lovely lady on his arm. But the “Xcitement” was short lived, as it was soon revealed it was just an impersonator hired to judge the bikini contest at Xcite Club & Lounge that evening. No word on if the fake Heff was able to stay up late enough to fulfill his judging duties or which bikini bod he chose. But we’re thinking probably a big boobed blonde. Just a guess.


A mutt named Murphy needed a makeover

A couple living off Sage Avenue was worried sick when their sweet male pup named Murphy went missing. After a day or two with no luck in finding him, a neighbor told them they had seen the dogcatcher in their area recently. So they went to the animal shelter and sure enough Murphy was there.

When they asked the shelter staff where they had found him. They said, “funny story, he was in the make-up department at Belk.” Somehow he had made his way to Bel Air mall and inside the doors and up to the make-up counter before anyone saw him. Perhaps Murph just needed a new look? We are happy to hear he was happily reunited with his owners. Maybe he needs a treat – perhaps some mascara?

Playing (with a) possum

It seems one OGD resident had an unexpected visitor last week when a baby possum decided to take up residence in her kitchen. A neighbor let the terrified resident borrow a trap – apparently possums are pretty common in the garden district. But when the trap did its job, much to her dismay, she found no one was around to help her get the critter into her car so she could go release it in a location described as “waaaaay away” from her house.

After being terrified for hours, she did what anyone would do, she put on a yellow poncho and rubber gloves and grabbed an old Jay York campaign sign and very carefully got it outside. She said the baby possum looked “forlorn” yet “vicious.” I’m pretty sure that’s the first time the word “forlorn” may have been used to describe a possum, but I suppose it’s pretty apt.

Though she chose removal and relocation, she said we was given many suggestions on what to do with it, from calling the Environmental Studies Center to being given recipes for possum stew to putting it an a large bag and tying it to a running car’s exhaust pipe and euthanizing it (WTF?). One sensitive soul suggested murdering it and stuffing it for her mantel. People are crazy.

Anyway, after the whole incident she said she was suffering from PPD, post possum depression and she had sought the help of a therapist.

We can report no forlorn possums were injured or killed during this episode.

Just asking?

Which local official who attended the Chamber’s leadership trip to St. Louis fell asleep while the mayor of St. Louis was giving a speech? We heard the mayor was even able to hear snoring … classy!

Well kids, that’s all I got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ possum stew lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!