Port City Premonitions

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr.

Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — You’ll celebrate the opening of the Rickarby Park basketball court by jumping off your crouched-over teammate’s back just to touch the net. Your MLK Jr. Day of Service activity should be volunteer...

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Between now and Mardi Gras

Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — In need of a bit of a thawing out, turn the oven on and leave the door open for heat. Also try lining your coat with warm pancakes. Between now and Mardi Gras, thin out your collection of plastic...

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Your New Year’s resolution

Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — It’s been a big year for you and you should ride the momentum into 2018. You should also crank up that new jam from Cardi B. Your New Year’s resolution is to be more humble. Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — You...

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A Not-so miraculous christmas

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ­­— Your family will be fractured after a debate about whether Leyland cypress trees are comparable to Douglas firs. Your unrealized Christmas miracle is a shiny new Mercedes just like in the...

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The gifts of Advent

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ­­— Still stoked after a recent Alabama snowfall, you spend the next few weeks pondering your potential snowboarding career in your new Alaskan home. Your Advent calendar reveals a stale chicken...

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Write-in candidates

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ­­— Never much of shopper, you should stop procrastinating and start working through your Christmas gift list. Buy something for yourself first. You’ll write in “Seasonal Affective Disorder” on your...

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Deck the halls

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ­­— Having not yet deflated after another indulgent Thanksgiving week, you attempt to overdose on Amazon’s lowest-rated colon cleanse. Your quirky holiday decoration is eight tiny “reinbeers.” Capricorn...

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Get ‘em while they’re hot

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ­­— After a meal fit for Robert Effin’ Baratheon, you’ll spend Thanksgiving evening with more regrets than your first marriage. Your Black Friday doorbuster is a multipurpose dry chemical fire...

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A few other embarrassments

Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — This weekend may be your last opportunity to visit the Mobile International Festival before President Donald Trump builds a wall around it. You’ll embarrass the state of Alabama by asking for white...

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Unlocking the deadlock

Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — You’ll be overwhelmed with a serious case of FOMO after failing to find the time and money to do everything you want this month. You attempt to resolve the Mobile City Council presidential deadlock with a...

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