Taurus (4/20-5/20) — After having neglected to shave for more than a few days, you’ll be treated as the guest of honor at the premier of “Bo McGraw & The Legend of the Alabama Bigfoot.” Your lucky Cinco de Mayo party favor is a President Trump piñata.
Gemini (5/21-6/21) — You’ll be flying higher than a hot air balloon in Foley this weekend when you finally achieve a goal after months of focus and practice. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo dish is a beef burrito.
Cancer (6/22-7/22) — You’ll be swept off your feet in a romantic overture rivaled only by fairy tales during the celebration of an anniversary this weekend. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo attire is a huipil.
Leo (7/23-8/23) — Eyes will roll as you playfully fondle the eggplant and peaches at Market in the Park this weekend. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo party favor is a pair of maracas.
Virgo (8/24-9/22) — You’ll venture into a Waffle House this weekend bleary eyed and hungry, but wary of becoming an unwilling party to some tiresome national conversation. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo accessory is a mini sombrero.
Libra (9/23-10/22) — Impressed by the caliber of talent on the beaches of Gulf Shores this weekend, you suddenly become the world’s biggest beach volleyball superfan. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo decoration is red chili pepper string lights.
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — After getting a little careless during a household painting project, you’ll be mistaken for an exhibit in the “Neu Dawn” fashion and art installation this weekend. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo viewing material is the 1960 film “Macario.”
Sagittarius (11/22-12/22) — Being slowly driven out of Mobile by a lack of affordable housing, you’ll settle in the mudhole that is Bayou La Batre, where you construct an adobe house of your own design. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo drink is a top-shelf Margarita.
Capricorn (12/23-1/19) — Displaying your athletic prowess both on and off the field, coach will award you the game ball of life. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo dish is queso dip.
Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — Joining the fight to keep Baldwin County’s dwindling public beach accesses open, you’ll change your permanent address to “Curbside, Zundel Road, Point Clear, Alabama 36532.” Your lucky Cinco de Mayo song is anything mariachi.
Pisces (2/19-3/20) — You’ll eat so many blueberries during Harvest Nights at Weeks Bay Plantation that you’ll inflate and turn two shades darker than Violet Beauregarde. Your lucky Cinco de Mayo Intro to Spanish phrase is “Dónde está el baño?”
Aries (3/21-4/19) — You’ll celebrate May the Fourth by talking like a Wookie and forcing yourself to suffer through the “Star Wars Holiday Special.” Ease the pain with your lucky Cinco de Mayo beverage, sangria.