I asked Santa for a FitBit and a new salad spinner. I know. Exciting stuff. I better scarf down as much pound cake and drink as much eggnog as I possibly can in the next two weeks, as my January already looks pretty exhausting and rather bland.

But enough about me and how my steps are going to be counted by some sort of wrist contraption and how my lettuce leaves will be amazingly dry, for I bring you good tidings of great joy.

Since I really couldn’t think of much else I wanted, I made room on my list to ask the jolly old man in the red suit for some things all of us can enjoy, and since I’ve been pretty decent this year, I think we are going to get them.

Check out the list below, my friends.

You. Are. Welcome.

A break from national politics
Dearest Santa, please take all of the current presidential candidates from both parties to the North Pole for the next couple of weeks. Cell service is impossible and there aren’t any cameras there, right?

I usually enjoy watching the gamesmanship (or lack thereof) during a presidential election cycle, but I have really grown tired of this circus. Sure, it was entertaining at first, but now the novelty has worn off, and I am really beginning to worry a carnival barker, snake charmer, tightrope walker or other sideshow act could actually be our next president.

I think we know what we are getting on the Democratic side, Santa, but could you please have the national media give some more coverage to the Republican candidates who aren’t performing nightly under the Big Top (or under the Big Coif)? It seems like there are actually a couple of reasonable human beings among the freaks, but we know nothing about them because they never get any coverage. I love a good reality TV show from time to time myself, but when we get back from the holiday break I want a programming change, something with a little more substance, please. See if you can make that happen, Santa. I know it won’t be easy but I believe in you.

And local too …
While we are talking about politics, can you please do something about our Mobile County politicos, too?

Just when it finally seems like the mayor and City Council have found peace in Government Plaza and a little more goodwill toward each other (and things actually seem to be getting done (if boring to write about)), our good ol’ county folks on the 10th floor continue acting up, probably due mostly to the upcoming District 3 race and the bitterness between current commish Jerry Carl and his camp and one of his challengers, State Rep. Margie Wilcox and her allies.

I think our commission has just gotten way too big for its governmental britches.

If you travel to the majority of counties in this state, you will find sweet little commissioners who are just concerned about working on the roads and bridges of their sweet little counties, because that is what commissioners are supposed to do.

But here in Mobile, apparently ours are waaaaaaaay more important than that, with their world travel and posh offices, lust for buildings named after them and “chiefs of staff.”

Now they have all these silly alliances and are engaging in all of this political payback and vengeance. It’s just ridiculous for a bunch of people who are supposed to be concerned with re-grading dirt roads to be engaged in such petty BS.  

We desperately need a five-person, part-time commission — not only would that remove this constant 2-1 odd man (or woman) out problem and create an environment where they could actually accomplish something, it might actually remove some of the self-importance and increasing delusions of grandeur some of our chief road-pavers seem to be experiencing.

Santa, please have them focus again on their constituents rather than their political careers.

Peace on the Earth, goodwill toward men
As I was driving the other day and singing along to Christmas music (because that is what lame people who ask for salad spinners do), “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear” came upon my radio and I think it struck me more this year than any other. The world has become very scary place — a place where we are all just waiting for the next horrible tragedy to happen. A world where Paris happens and San Bernardino and Charleston and Newtown. And it is terrifying to think we could live the rest of our lives that way and it could be the only way of life our children will know.

But I have to remind myself those acts were perpetrated by a handful of mentally ill and/or radicalized people. For the most part, I believe people on every continent of this earth and of every color and religion choose “peace on earth and goodwill toward men” over evil.  

Somehow we will have to harness that goodwill across the globe and figure out how to restore that peace. But I have to believe goodness will prevail. It always does. As Gandhi said, “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall.”

And here’s hoping this Christmas maybe some clarity will come, as the world in solemn stillness lays and we hear those angels sing.