In an attempt to piggyback off one of Coastal Alabama’s most popular events, you’ll host the inaugural Flounder Fling at the Pink Pony Pub. Not so much a competition of distance throwing, this game is more like horseshoes, with participants aiming to impale tossed flat fish on stakes driven into the sand 20 feet away.
The Mullet Toss is lot of fun and all, but you’re not the only one secretly hoping for another oil spill so we can bring Kenny Chesney back to the beach for a second disaster recovery concert. If you’re lucky, Florida Georgia Line will be there too. And Yelawolf. #dreamteam
You may never forget the sunscreen, beach towels, umbrella and good book every time you go to the Flora-Bama, but this time remember to bring the Sun-In hair lightening spray. Its simple ingredients and pleasant fragrance will achieve those natural summer highlights you desire.
There are few things you enjoy more than hot sun, a cold Busch Light and tig ol’ bitties, so the Mullet Toss is one of your top annual destinations. Make it one to remember this year by attempting to set a Guinness World Record for most Bushwackers consumed in four hours.
You’re not one for modern conveniences, so the idea of urinating in the Gulf of Mexico intrigues you. On your first visit to Mullet Toss, you’ll get the opportunity of a lifetime. No bathroom necessary.
After writing something very profound and meaningful to you on the bathroom stall of the ladies’ restroom at the Flora-Bama, you will suddenly realize that, in fact, life is NOT a beach. Drink a shot of tequila to make yourself feel better.
With your camoflauge string bikini at the cleaners, you’ll have to go to Baldwin County’s biggest party in a regular two-piece. Somehow, the festivities won’t be as sweet without the security of barely anything attached to you.
With the sand between your toes, you’ll attempt to put the last empty can of Bud Light on the redneck pyramid. Failing and flailing, you’ll knock over the entire structure, but will start over.
As a photographer for the Alabama Media Group, you’ll land the gig of a lifetime covering the 2019 Miss Mullet Toss competition. You beer-soaked work will no doubt contend for a Pulitzer.
You’ll chug beer, oggle women and throw dead fish this weekend on the Gulf Coast’s most family-friendly beach. That it doesn’t seem ironic to you says more about your relatives than the beach.
After talking up a chance run-in with Kenny Chesney at the Flora-Bama, you’ll be disappointed when a friend points out you were actually just wearing a cowboy hat and talking to your own reflection.
You’ll be caught stealing aloe vera from the Orange Beach Publix after a substantial sunburn and a lost wallet leave you with few options. The lack of epidermis will give you even more reason to avoid the jailhouse shower.
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