Aloha! It’s been quite a week!
Pigs have been sacrificed and wannabe “Idols” descended upon the Port City in hopes of one day being worshipped by a live television audience.
You know, just another week in Mobile. And I’ve got all the scoop.
So pour yourself a Mai Tai, rip off a pig’s ear and eat it along with a heaping helping of my oh-so-tasty gossip marinated in Ryan Seacrest’s tears and smothered in pineapple sauce.
Enjoy!
Tiki-riffic!
The paper umbrellas and floral garnish showered down as Downtown Mobile’s third annual Tiki Week roared down Dauphin Street. The island gods were very pleased, so no virginal sacrifices were performed, not in the mouth of an erupting volcano anyway. A few livers? Maybe.
Even more businesses were involved this year, as cross-cultural experiments were the toast of the week. The Noble South’s cozy Sidecar Lounge ran with a “tiki country” theme while Roosters Mexican restaurant served a few Polynesian-influenced dishes and even had Mai Tai cocktails available. Viva la hula!
The midweek pub crawl, the Mai Tai Mile, was the busiest it’s ever been, from Washington to Royal. Right before 7 p.m., a tsunami of Hawaiian-garbed partiers flooded into the OK Bike Shop ready to get lei’d. The same story unfolded all the way to Royal Street. Sidecar was so packed they pulled an extra server in from the restaurant while the barkeep churned out tropical elixirs as fast as he could.
The week’s culmination was Saturday’s pig roast and luau at The Haberdasher. The crowd around the massive tiki idol inside was already thick long before its 8 p.m. start. The only thing missing among all the thatch and bamboo was The Skipper and Gilligan.
The Hab had a full crew and long menu of potent potables that came in everything from ceramic Polynesian glassware to hollowed-out pineapples, with one traditional head-shrinker, The Zombie, limited to two per guest owing to its strength.
The most popular orders with groups were a pair of communal punch bowls, one with a flaming volcanic island in the center. The other was a $65 beauty that sold as fast as the bar could make them.
From the sound of things, there were a lot of Mauna Craniums rumbling on Sunday.
Ye shall make American Idols
At press time, the “American Idol” tour bus was in front of the Mobile Convention Center. Thousands from all over the country lined up at the Arthur Outlaw Convention Center hoping to show off their pipes to producers and judges at GulfQuest. (Finally people wanting to get into GulfQuest! Rim shot! I’m here all week!)
Our spies had not seen any of the celeb judges (Lionel Richie, Katy Perry and Luke Bryan) at press time, but were all still hopeful they may show.
The spies said they had the singers divided into five groups, or “chutes,” so there were sometimes five people auditioning at a time, which would make it very difficult to concentrate on your own lyrics and key, one would presume.
But at lunchtime, our spy said at least 25 people were already in the “winners’ circle,” with a chance to move on to the next round.
That’s pretty impressive, though not surprising as we have so much talent in these parts. I just know the winner will be from here!
But if not, apparently they filmed 200 people standing in front of the Convention Center and screaming “Welcome to American Idol,” so maybe that will make it in at least.
We will keep you posted on this developing story. Boozie out!
Well kids, that’s all I got this issue. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ tiki week lovin’, I will be there! Ciao!
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