Oh, it’s the most wonderful time of year!
With all the kids yelling and everyone telling you to have plenty of beer,
it’s the most wonderful time of year.
It’s the hap-happiest season of all,
with all those Mardi Gras greetings and gay, happy meetings,
when friends come to balls,
It’s the hap-happiest season of all.
There’ll be barn parties for hosting, shots for toasting
and yelling “hey mister” in the colddddd,
There’ll be scary Joe Cain stories
and tales of his glories of the Mardi Gras-s long, long agoooo.

Alright, alright, I’ll stop, but you must admit that was pretty good. I just can’t contain my excitement for Mardi Gras! It brings everyone together … at least until that stuffed animal is thrown, then it’s on. But for Boozie it brings much more. It brings y’all gossip that is tastier than any moonpie flavor out there.

Are you fur real?
This past Friday night was the Order of Dragons ball at the Country Club of Mobile. And Boozie’s spy said the space was decorated perfectly for the ball. The stage had clown paintings around it that looked so real my spy thought one might jump out and start making balloon animals. The decorations were beautiful but not as beautiful as how quickly the drinks were flowing.

Boozie’s spy also reported that since it was a very chilly Friday night, a requirement for the ladies must have been fur. She said there were so many fur coats and shawls that PETA would have either dropped dead or run out of red paint. But luckily no shawls or stoles were harmed … at least by PETA.

Boom Boom
Mobile saw its first parades roll through downtown this past weekend. The Conde Cavaliers rolled Friday night and the Pharaohs and Conde Explorers on Saturday night. As your Gossip Queen, I am almost embarrassed to tell you this next part: I skipped the parades this weekend. There, it’s out. I just wasn’t born strong enough to brave the cold. What if a box of moonpies had hit my frozen hand and I wasn’t able to type anymore, then where would you get your gossip? We all know the cold makes beads and moonpies sting more when they hit you. So I am sure y’all understand. No worries, my spies have thick skin and with enough booze they were able to brave the cold.

Boozie was told Friday night’s parade wasn’t as crowded as expected. Usually the first parade is packed but I guess people were like me and not wanting to feel the cold. My spy said she was at the corner of Washington and Dauphin for the parade and waited inside with most revelers until the parade arrived. While waiting inside, my spy said a man entered the bar whom she could tell had been partying for Mardi Gras way harder than others. He ordered a beer and stumbled around looking for a place to sit.

My main spy said she got up from the table to use the bathroom and returned to find the drunk man had found a spot to sit: He’d pulled up a chair right up behind hers so that he was facing their table, and would be sitting directly behind her.

Feeling a little uneasy about the guy’s choice of a seat, the table of girls said, could you please turn and sit at your table? He must have really wanted to sit with them because he refused to move. The security guard was called over to help the man to his feet and out the door. Nothing says happy Mardi Gras like an old drunk man trying to hit on you.

Boozie was also told of two parade-goers seen Saturday night before the parade carrying two oversized cut-out heads of former presidents Bill Clinton and George Dubya Bush. No word if said heads were effective in getting their owners more loot, but I would guess so.

Southern tradition
If Mardi Gras wasn’t Southern enough, the Conde Cavaliers added a little more Southern charm to the thing. Friday night the stage at the Civic Center was transformed into every Southern belle’s dream. On stage was an old white house with a big porch, a shrimp boat, shrimp, crawfish, blue crabs, corn, Azalea Trail Maids, a football player and even a NASCAR driver, and I almost forgot to add, a three-person limit of snapper, too.

As the night went on, things got a little crazy. It seemed almost everyone on the dance floor had glow sticks and the band was rocking. One guy took the lyrics of “Footloose” too seriously and really cut loose. He was spinning around on his back on the dance floor in what looked like a little snow angel action, but the best part was he didn’t spill any beer!

Senior Bowlers get down
With all this Mardi Gras stuff going on we can’t forget about Senior Bowl. The week kicked off Monday night with a special — and I mean special — meet-the-players event at the Battle House. Boozie was invited to have a few drinks and gawk at very large men in workout attire.

Of course, the SEC guys garnered the most attention. Boozie wasn’t about to miss her opportunity to meet Alabama’s Jake Coker, Kenyan Drake and Cyrus Jones, Clemson’s Charone Peake and MIssissippi State’s Dak Prescott, not to name drop, but hey, I was excited. And I’m sure they were just as excited to meet a fan like me who didn’t have them signing their lives away. I don’t think Alabama QB Jake Coker even got the chance to recap his marker before the next Sports Illustrated or football was stuck in his hands but he signed away and smiled for every picture.

Like Coker, all the players were in good spirits. Boozie was told that one player even made a joke that it would cost more to print a picture of him than what his signature was worth. Out of all the players, Baylor long snapper Jimmy Landes was probably having the best time; he got up on stage with the band and danced his heart out until it was time to go.

We were going to press just as Senior Bowl events were getting going, so we will have a full report next week on all the NFL sightings, from Moe’s to Veet’s.

Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ Mardi Gras lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!