Guns, guitars and nudity: Boozie’s Fourth of July round-up

Dauphin Island was a little crazy over the 4th, with some running their boats into jetties, while others played electric guitar while cruising the canals

Well guys, you did not disappoint over the Fourth. My cup overfloweth with tantalizing tales involving guitars, guns, nudity and small crafts running ashore. Excellent work! I would like to give a special thanks to alcohol for helping create all of this insanity for me to report on. Without you, my job would be so much harder.

Well, since we have a lot of ground (and sea) to cover, let’s get going!

(Un)qualified Captain?

Two folks were arrested for public intoxication on Dauphin Island last Thursday after they ran their boat into a jetty. My spies heard this happened after the fireworks, so it had to be at night. Hopefully that is the case because if they ran into a giant pile of rocks during the daylight hours – well, that would mean some pretty intense intoxication. A crew was able to remove the boat by Friday, but it was the talk of the Island all weekend long.

Oh, sweet child

Speaking of crazy things on Dauphin Island, another one of my spies captured a man going up and down the canals standing on a small boat, playing a guitar. Perhaps this wouldn’t have been such a sight if it had been an acoustic guitar but no, this was an electric guitar hooked up to an amp! He was standing on the bow, shredding as another guy drove the boat. We are not sure what all he played but our spy said he was slaying “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses when he sailed by their beach house. Let’s hope there was a little “Star Spangled Banner” a la Jimi Hendrix-style considering the holiday! Shred on, mate! Shred on!

Lawlessness in the Delta

We always like to think of the Delta as a lawless, crazy place where men wrestle guns and shoot alligators or something kind of like that. And if the Delta is the land of crazy, Gravine Island would be its capital. It’s a complicated place for law enforcement, because it is in no man’s land. On the Fourth though, the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency did respond to a report of a man who had pulled a gun during what we suppose is one of many fist fights that took place there over the holiday weekend.

Naked Guy in WeMo

Reports of a naked man strolling through a WeMo neighborhood around 2 a.m. seemed odd, but when a FOX10 news story said the man was also accused of taking a dog around the same time, it got even weirder. He was captured on one homeowner’s doorbell camera but the owner said he just kind of strolled around, “naked as a jaybird.” So many questions here: Why was he naked? What was he doing? How was the dog involved?

We can report the pup did make it back to his owners, but no word if the man made it back in his clothes.

Locals featured on Breakfast at Wimbledon

In news that does not involve crazy drunk people, well-known Baldwin County tennis pro Matt McKelvain and his wife, Berry, were featured on a segment on ESPN during its “Breakfast at Wimbledon” coverage. The couple was chosen randomly to be profiled and it showed what it was like to wait in Wimbledon’s famous queue to see if you would be chosen to get seats. They were interviewed by former tennis star and commentator Pam Shriver, and she even took photos of the two. It was really cute! And they got some pretty amazing seats, too, third row on one of the show courts. Not too shabby for some folks from ‘Bamy! McKelvain is the pro at Lakewood Country Club in Fairhope. Bring us back some strawberries and cream!

Well kids, that’s all I have this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ Gravine Island gun totin’, I will be there. Ciao!