Well, well, well. There’s been a lot of fireworks around here and it’s not even the 4th of July yet. I got celeb sightings, skinny dipping under the influence and parking lot pooping! You can’t really ask for much more than that when you are an old gossip hag like myself.

So sit back, relax and enjoy this little show I’ve put together for you. There are no pyrotechnics involved but this stuff still sparkles. It’s gold, baby! Gold, I say!

HGTV stars … Alabama!

If you are like Boozie, you may watch a smidge too much HGTV. I watched so much “Fixer Upper” with Chip and Joanna Gaines for so long, I can’t even force myself to watch it anymore. I still love them. I just overdosed on them and needed a break. I do wish them all the best on the birth of their new baby boy, Crew, who entered this world last week. See? I know way too much about these people who I don’t know.

Anyhoo, Joanna’s go-to carpenter on the show, Clint Harp, was spotted dining at Dumbwaiter in downtown Mobile last Friday night. Holy shiplap! I sure hope he ordered the Brussels sprouts appetizer. No word on why he was in town but we certainly hope he enjoyed his stay.

Speaking of HGTV stars, that couple from Laurel, Mississippi — Ben and Erin Napier, the stars of “Home Town” — were spotted at Charles Phillips Antiques and Architecturals in Theodore recently. Who can blame them? I love that place. It is one of the coolest stores in town, if not the world. I’ll admit my Chip and Joanna fatigue has extended to all HGTV power couples (I’m down to watching just “Beachfront Bargain Hunt” at this point), so I haven’t seen “Home Town” but glad to see they’re spending money in MoCo. God bless ‘em!

Pooping Lady Bandit?

The Mobile County Sheriff Office’s Facebook Page “TEAM SHERIFF” can provide a few chuckles and even raise a few eyebrows from time to time. Their creative use of hashtags in a recent post did not leave much to the imagination (unfortunately).

“MCSO and MPD need your help in identifying this man in video (See for yourself at: www.facebook.com/Mobilecountysheriffsoffice). If this Dude is not already a convicted felon, he is well on his way to being a card carrying #urinedavideo. On June 11, the man in video, smashes the glass door to Wilson Dismukes on Airport Boulevard. He stole over $1500.00 in lawn equipment. The surveillance video shows him pulling into parking lot in a red vehicle with a female passenger. We can’t show you what she does in the parking lot… #itwasgross #shedidnotwipe #classylady,” the post read.

Ewwwwww, what is wrong with people? I mean, your boyfriend had already broken into the store, could you have not just pooped in their bathroom, for heaven’s sake? Please make sure to watch the video so we catch this dumb criminal and his defecating damsel.

Bonnie and Clyde take a dip

Speaking of entertaining police reports, this one caught my eye from the Mobile Police Department.

“On Saturday, June 22, 2018 at approximately 2:30 p.m. police responded to the area of 1310 Tingle Circle East in reference to subjects swimming in the retention pond. Police located a male subject and a female subject, who wore only a shirt, running to a Mercury Grand Marquis. Investigation revealed the male subject had stolen a display cellphone from Best Buy and attempted to steal other items.”

There is just so much goodness in this. Who decides to go for a little dip … in a retention pond … with only a shirt on (lady) … at 2:30 in the afternoon … after stealing a bunch of stuff from Best Buy? Quite the morning these two had! They were charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, among other things, so maybe that explains this … somewhat.

Beyonce’s sis in town?

Word on the street in the OGD is that Beyonce’s sister is renting a house somewhere in Oakleigh. I don’t know which sister. The half sister, the whole sister or the stepsister. I just heard sister. And I don’t know which house. But be on the lookout! And, of course, let me know if you see Solange (or the other ones).

Well kids, that’s all I got. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ HGTV star lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!