Greetings sexy schoolgirls, Mileys, beer wenches, Heisenbergs and Dr. Doris Browns. The Boozester salutes you on your Halloween choices this year. After getting the first reports from some of my spies, I hear the only thing naughtier than some of your costumes was your behavior, and you know that delights the Boozester. As she “vants” your gossip and much as Dracula “vants” that liquid stuff running through your vessels, which I hear is about 80 percent Jack Daniels and 20 percent blood.

So, without further ado, sink your teeth into this latest installment of Boozie, Mizz Nues if you’re nasty, and you know you are.

“Meth Dealers” abound in OGD

So word on the street, the Oakleigh Halloween party at a private residence on Palmetto Street on Saturday, Oct. 26 was the place to be in the OGD. My spies reported seeing only one Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke duo, which is surprising, but things got a little confusing when a party-goer dressed as Bettlejuice also started twerking on Miley.

There were several Heisenbergs from “Breaking Bad,” and one spy said her favorite was the one who was handing out bags of his famous blue meth, though in this case, it was just crushed up blue Jolly Ranchers.

The Mobile mayoral election proved inspirational for one local woman, who dressed up as everyone’s pick for most enthusiastic candidate, Dr. Doris Brown. During the campaign, the candidate captured everyone’s attention by revealing her plans for a downtown petting zoo, free ice cream for seniors who come downtown, as well as her plans for the city to build its own cruise ship, The Mobilian.

Halloween Dr. B made sure she represented the real Dr. B by having props representing each of these plans.

Other notable costumes at this party: Dave Thomas and his daughter Wendy, a “really awesome” Kool-Aid Man, Carmen Sandiego, Andy Warhol and one of his paintings, Medusa, a few skeletons and lots of Batmen and women.

Skinny little mustaches a hit in LoDa

Meanwhile downtown, the OK Bike Shop held its popular Halloween shindig, also on Saturday, Oct. 26. My spy said the best costumes there were a guy dressed as Wolverine, and a man dressed as Gru from “Despicable Me,” along with his three adoring daughters. There were also tons of Heisenbergs there as well. Bartender Carson Kennedy dressed as the Robert De Niro character Max Cady from “Cape Fear,” complete with cigar and creepy tattoos.

In what has become somewhat of a tradition, some of the other owners/employees dressed as their regular patrons. Not sure if the patrons should feel “honored” or not.

Another local couple, known as Mr. and Mrs. Klee, dressed as Morticia and Gomez Addams. As the evening began to wind down, one drunken lady leaned over to “Gomez” and said in her super Southern drawl, “ I like your skinny little mustache.”

The next right wing conspiracy

A spy who attended the recent John Prine show at the Saenger Theater in Pensacola said the singer/songwriter still manages to attract a few wayward hippies. One woman in particular was pretty jacked up about hearing “Dear Abby,” “Angel From Montgomery” and Prine’s myriad other hits, and our spy thought she might already have an “Illegal Smile” working as the show began. Opening act, Justin Townes Earle, a favorite at Callaghan’s over the years, apparently wasn’t doing it for the geriatric troublemaker. After each song she yelled, “We want John!” much to the chagrin of those directly in front of her. 

Shortly into Earle’s set an usher came down to calm the rowdy lady. By that point she had become the show for much of the audience on one side of the theater. Once Prine took the stage things didn’t get better as she belted out the words to his songs in a craggy voice that would be the envy of Waffle House waitresses nationwide. She also hollered out song requests while Prine tried to connect with the audience, and finally enough was enough. A Pensacola police officer made his way down to row R and hauled the superfan out, along with her grinning husband. In a desperate attempt to keep from getting tossed, the woman appealed out to Prine for help. “John! Help! The f***ing Republicans are throwing me out!” Prine didn’t come to her rescue. 

Karl Rove did not respond to multiple calls for comment on this story.

Our spy also pointed out the Pensacola Saenger is nice but doesn’t hold a candle to Mobile’s, which he said is much more ornate, has better acoustics and fewer leftover Flowerchildren. 

O’Boozie! It’s Bono!

I’ve told you people I have spies everywhere, now maybe y’all will finally believe me. One such spy was recently visiting Ireland and filed this report.

“Just ate lunch seated about 10 feet from Bono, in Finnegan’s Pub in Dalkey, Ireland, the pub to which he took Obama, apparently. I ordered haddock and chips and a Beamish Stout; he ordered whiskey and a toothpick,” the spy wrote.

Maybe Bono finally found what he was looking for (rim shot). I can’t live “with or without” a toothpick or whiskey either (and again). OK, I’ll stop. But this just proves U2 can also be one of Boozie’s spies. OK, I’m really done now.

Small is the new big

Last Thursday night, the good folks at True Midtown Kitchen introduced their new small plate menu to a packed house, and let me just say, the spies and I agree it was super fabulous. Chicken schnitzel, burger sliders, an amazing rare tuna concoction, a Vietnamese pork sandwich, fried catfish with a sweet and sour sauce were just a few of the options, and everyone agreed they were quite tasty.
Two Lagniappers and one guest of a Lagniapper just happened to win three of the door prizes. Who is screaming rigged with me? I wanted a bottle of champagne one of them walked away with!

Breast walk ever

On Saturday, Oct. 26, nearly 30,000 folks filled the streets of downtown and Oakleigh for the American Cancer Society’s “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer” Walk.

There were a plethora of pink tutus and many burly men also sporting pink attire, with various references to “tatas.” My favorite was a standard sized poodle painted pink for the occasion. Everyone was in excellent spirits for this amazing event.

Halloween for dogs

Woofstock is always a fun event for pet owners and their furry friends. Well, it’s fun for the owners, at least, not sure how much the dogs enjoyed being dressed up. But my spies saw plenty of cool costumes at the event downtown in Bienville Square on Sunday, Oct. 27, including Yorkies dressed as King Neptune and a Mermaid, a German Shepherd who was dressed as a Bee, while his owner sported a bird costume, for a “Birds and Bees” theme and a bulldog mix dressed as a frog. There were also several actual pigs in attendance (Oinkstock?) and a pack of Afghan hounds caught the attention of many.

Just asking….

Which outgoing city official is said to have requested and gotten the computer in his office “wiped” by the city’s IT department? High placed Boozie spies say the kibosh has been put on any such further attempts to “clean things up” for the new Admin.

Well kids, that’s all I got. So just remember whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ Irish whiskey and toothpick lovin’ across the pond, I will be there. Ciao!