If you have been around a group of your friends, co-workers, family members or even chatted with random strangers in an airport or coffee shop recently, there is a 99.9 percent chance someone has said, “Have you tried CBD oil yet?”
This question would be followed by everyone in the group racing to chime in first, saying cannabidiol (CBD) oil has cured everything from their insomnia to anxiety to seizures to ADHD to diverticulitis and arthritis. The only thing I haven’t heard that it has cured is cancer, and I am sure that’s only because I haven’t talked to the right person … yet.
CBD oil has become the Frank’s RedHot of medicinal potions — people are putting that shit on everything.
And apparently the results are nothing short of miraculous.
After listening to all of this gushing, I was naturally skeptical. What is this new (and expensive) snake oil everyone is raving about?
Not long ago, essential oils were curing everything, so now CBD is the new flavor of the month in the pantheon of panaceas?
OK folks, can we all say “placebo effect?”
A good friend of mine started taking CBD oil long before it was super hip to do so to control his seizures. Its efficacy in that area makes sense to me, there has been well-documented evidence that CBD helps control this and even legislation to allow its use for this specific purpose in many states.
But curing about a million other things too? Come on! What substance could possibly do this? If that were the case, the wise men would have brought gold, CBD oil and CBD oil to the little baby Jesus instead of that inferior frankincense and myrrh. I am sure it would have cured his colic, diaper rash, acid reflux, Mary’s postpartum depression and Joseph’s eczema (assuming they suffered from any of these ailments).
I was having a hard time buying it and the magical power everyone was ascribing to it was becoming downright comical — especially from those who you would think would have never tried anything even remotely in the same family as Mary Jane. I have one such tee-totaling relative who never misses church on Sunday and has never had a drop of alcohol or even smelled the wacky weed secondhand, who now swears it has helped her thyroid function better. She said her doctor even reduced the amount of medication she was on.
I was happy for her, but thought, this is just getting ridiculous; there is just no way.
So I did what every non-medical professional does when looking for medical information, I Googled it.
And sure enough, there were multiple articles saying how there were cannabinoid receptors on the thyroid gland and how CBD could possibly help its performance.
Luckily, I don’t get sick very often and I don’t have any chronic illnesses I could try this out on, but now I was really curious, and began Googling every condition that popped in my head “+ CBD.”
And it turns out it really does cure everything. Here is a sampling of what I found on the web:
Hemorrhoids: “Although some individuals undergo surgery to remove painful hemorrhoids and others consume pharmaceutical medications for pain relief, cannabis and cannabidiol (CBD) are alternatives that can deliver natural relief. “
Constipation AND Diarrhea: “The authors add that the endocannabinoid system participates significantly in the normal physiology of gastrointestinal function, displaying involvement in motility, gut-brain-mediated fat intake and hunger signaling, inflammation and gut permeability, and dynamic interactions with gut microbiota.”
Herpes: Both tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and CBD contain therapeutic benefits including anti-viral, anti-inflammatory, antibacterial and antioxidant properties. For this reason, CBD oil and pure THC have been experimented with and heavily studied to try to find a treatment or a cure for herpes. The findings of several studies point to CBD being significantly useful for treating the symptoms of herpes due to CBD’s medical effects and benefits.
Leprosy: Leprosy is a disease caused by the bacteria Mycobacterium leprae and Mycobacterium lepromatosis, which belong to the same genus as the tuberculosis bacterium, M. tuberculosis. Cannabis is a historic treatment for leprosy, which has affected humanity for millennia, and continues to infect hundreds of thousands per year.
Try this little game yourself and you will see there is literally almost no ailment you can Google that CBD won’t cure.
In addition, this stuff addresses all of your furry friend’s problems as well, as CBD dog biscuits are a thing now too. Fido will stop barking and eating your shoes. Seriously, there are articles that claim this. No word on the effects it has on pet snakes, but surely it makes them less bitey.
This all made me even more skeptical, but as I listened to everyone talk about it, I just nodded politely and thought “Well, if they think it’s working, isn’t that just as good as it actually working? Mind over matter is a powerful thing.” Bless their hearts.
But then it happened. I jumped out of a boat and had a hard landing. The first morning after the injury, I thought my foot was broken it hurt so badly. But as I put weight on it and walked around on it more, it would feel better. I soon discovered I was suffering from plantar fasciitis (PF, because Dr. Google said so). I tried Advil, heating pads and soaking it in Epsom salt, but it still felt like a knife going through my foot when I would first walk on it every morning.
The PF was not one of the ailments I had checked (with an eye roll) to see if the CBD could cure it, but sure enough, of course, it was. It cures everything!
Desperate for relief, I got some and tried it. And I swear to God, the pain was completely gone in three days. And also, I just felt better overall.
This skeptic has become a believer. I think it has cured problems I didn’t even know I had. So count me in as one of the crazy CBD oil disciples now because I believe! And I plan on spreading the good word: Trust me, you need to put this shit on everything.
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