All of this rain is really putting a damper on my mood. How I am supposed to get excited about the release of more Bentley tapes if it’s all gloomy outside?

Who am I kidding? That’s the only ray of sunshine in this gossip columnist’s life right now, which I know is kind of sad. Don’t judge me. Just keep on judging them. Anyway, I do have more on them later, but we have a couple of other things to attend to first. So let’s get to it!

Miss Loretta dazzles at the Midtown Pub
Everyone’s favorite country diva drag queen Miss Loretta celebrated 20 years of performing with an anniversary show at the Midtown Pub March 19. We hear the place was packed and Miss Loretta looked stunning. Her performance of her many “hits” was spot-on.

We hear she has gained such popularity an entire envoy of people came from Baton Rouge to celebrate this milestone with her. They even made their own Miss Loretta fan buttons! That’s quite a fan club right there! Here’s to many more years! Congrats, Miss Loretta!

The spirit was in MiMo
On a TOTALLY different note, occasionally my spies will report from church. Hey, they aren’t all barflies. Anyway, we hear the Holy Spirit was definitely present at Little Flower Catholic Church on Easter Sunday. The Catholic spies said in the middle of the 9:30 a.m. mass, a pedestal holding flowers collapsed, startling many but making our spy feel as if he was in the presence of the Lord. I often feel that way as well when flowers fall off of pedestals in front of me, but I see what he is saying. People see Jesus in grilled cheese sandwiches, too. Whatever gets you through the day, is what Boozie says.

Bentley meme-a-mania
If they hadn’t brought it on themselves, I would feel kind of bad but I will say some pretty magnificent meme generation kicked into overdrive in the state of Alabama last week after it was revealed Gov. Robert Bentley was having an inappropriate relationship with his senior adviser, Rebekah Mason, as evidenced by some mildly steamy audio secretly recorded by the governor’s wife. You really can’t make this stuff up. But here are the Boozester’s favorite Bentley scandal-inspired memes.

Well kids, that’s all I got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ breast-holdin’ lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!