Photos | Boozie Spy/Downtown Mobile Alliance

It’s been a great holiday season in the bi-county area so far. Elves, tree lightings, parades with boats on water (and on land). Lots of Christmas cheer for sure. So much cheer, there has been vomiting at times. Never, ever drink more than seven (maybe eight) of the “signature holiday cocktail.” Never. Trust me on this.

Anyhoo, let’s get down to business. But before we do, I hope each of you have a very Merry (and Boozie) Christmas!

Jolly Saint Neck in Port City?

Sing with me now!

Jolly Old Saint Neck-olas, lean your neck this way/Don’t you tell a single soul what I’m going to say/Christmas Eve is coming soon, now you dear young man/Whisper how your neck got like that/Tell me if you can.

We’ve been reporting in recent issues about the curious internet fame of Charles Dion McDowell, who was arrested in our “neck” of the woods in Escambia County, Florida, on various drug charges and eluding police. But it was not his run-in with the law that gained him this newfound fame, but rather his very large neck, which couldn’t be missed in his mugshot.

Crazy folks with too much time on their hands immediately started making memes by Photoshopping his head (and neck) on various cartoons (Shrek/Neck), album covers (Neckleback) and historic photos (Loch Neck Monster), among many other things. Apparently McDowell has embraced this fame and even made a video with another web star known for his skinny neck.

We live in a really, really weird world.

Anyway, my gossip hotline started blowing up last week when the Cedar Street Social Club seemed to imply Mr. McDowell would be making an appearance at their Christmas party known as “The Snowball,” on Saturday, Dec. 15, posting a photo featuring “Jolly St. Neck.” Now, I am not sure if they were just promoting the event using the image of the “ neck star,” and people were reading into it or if he really made an appearance (I have not heard of any neck sightings yet), but the poster alone that made its way around social media was just too good not to share.

In any case, Jolly Saint Neck has already brought us many tidings of great joy this year. And we thank you for that, sir!

What’s in a name?

Last month the Downtown Mobile Alliance unveiled a beautiful piece of new public art by artist Bruce Larsen, who has won many Nappies for “Best Local Sculptor” (and, I am sure, far more prestigious awards than a Nappie). Anyway, the super cool piece pays tribute to our vibrant music scene and sits right outside one of our prettiest music venues, The Steeple on St. Francis. But this guitar-playing man of metal was missing something very important, a name. So the DMA held a contest and received more than 100 entries. And they have just announced he will be called “Heavenly Metal,” which was submitted by Sabe Fink.

We hope HM continues to watch over our “scene” for many years to come.

Spotted

I’ve had a couple of reports of sightings of a hot pink Mini with a vanity plate that reads “SpermDoc.” I certainly hope this is someone who is actually in the field of reproductive medicine or this could get creepy fast. I can only imagine how the conversation would go if this person got pulled over! So…um…

Well kids, that’s all I got. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ Heavenly Metal lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!