It’s beginning to look (and feel) like Christmas
Ev’rywhere you go,
Take a look at the liquor store line, it’s growing once again
With candy-cane vodka and silver Patron bottles that glow.”

I’ll stop, but I am really beginning to think I am in the wrong line of work. I have gotten really good at changing up the lyrics to Christmas classics, not to brag or anything. But have no fear, little ones, I can’t sing so I’m not going anywhere and neither is the gossip! So Merry Christmas, I hope Santa brings coal because I am sure you were naughty.

“Merry Christmas, you filthy animals”
Ashley and Rob outdid themselves once again! Lagniappe’s annual Christmas party was last Thursday night and let’s just say, they know how to throw a party. The night started out at Callaghan’s for happy hour. Many Lagniappers and their boos gathered for beers and holiday cheer. Nothing too cray, it was still early.

From there, the party moved to The Steeple for food and more drinks. First off, if you haven’t been to The Steeple, I highly suggest going. It was beautiful and I am sure concerts there are awesome. Speaking of concerts, Travis Tritt is playing there in January. Boozie would gladly accept tickets if anyone offered them, just saying. But back to the party.

The food hit the spot: there was crab bisque, pork, mashed potatoes, and seared tuna (Boozie’s personal favorite) in the 1865 Room. Then, as you explored more, there were Dew Drop hot dogs and Moe’s BBQ wings in the next room. In the next room were desserts. Yumm! But I know the plan behind all that — a good base for all the drinking to come!

After mingling and eating, it was time for Dirty Santa. Boozie had the last number, so I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention in the beginning, because I knew the good stuff would be dead by my turn. But some hot items that were stolen until dead were a Bloody Mary kit, Crown Royal, Maker’s Mark, Jameson Irish Whiskey and a bagful of goodies like dirty martini mix, olive oil, gin and catnip. That’s right, that gift was popular because of the catnip, so popular someone even tried to sneak the catnip away in hopes no one would notice. Crazy cat ladies.

Some of the more interesting gifts were a houndstooth fedora, a douche bag (with Heroes gift card) and the gift that takes the cake: a bottle of Kinky vodka and a calendar of girls in bikinis holding large fish. Oddly, everyone who ended up with those gifts were happy with them. Boozie got a Red or White gift card and it’s already burning a hole in my pocket!

The party ended with drinks and the guys admiring the “fish calendar.” Another great party in the books for Lagniappe! And another Friday where the productivity level hit a new low, but at the same time a new high for most Christmas snacks consumed!

Ho, Ho, Ho
This past Friday night, Santa(s) were not on their best behavior. My spy said she first spotted lots of Santas at Veet’s. Turns out they were pre-gaming for for the 130th annual Santa Claus Society ball at the Convention Center.

The girls of the Mardi Gras all made their entrance with who else but Santa Claus. Boozie’s spy reported leading lady Caroline Meacham looked beautiful in a white dress, but a few Santas were confused about what was going on. My spy said she heard a few guys asking if someone had gotten married or if the bride got lost. Bless their hearts, they don’t know much.

As the ball came to an end, some Santas headed home while others headed back to Veet’s. If you were looking for a free Santa, then you missed your chance. I am sure many of the Santas would have gladly taken a picture with your little rugrat. But then again, these Santas might scare your children. For Boozie, a drunk Santa coming to my house might not be such a bad thing. We’d have a few things in common!

Hayley’s turns 25!
A cold front with driving rain and plunging temperatures didn’t stop the block party at Hayley’s, as one of the city’s best dive bars celebrated its 25th anniversary last Sunday. One attendee said it was a little unusual to see the late-night venue bursting at the seams with customers during the daylight hours on the Lord’s day, as Mobile notables The Vomit Spots and Mob Towne Revival played their sets indoors.

Many shots were consumed, as evidenced by the number of disposable shot glasses on the floor. As is the tradition at Hayley’s, when one takes a shot, they toss the plastic cup over their shoulder onto the floor. You know it’s been a good night when you have to shuffle through them to get to the bathroom consistently voted Most Likely to Be Replicated in Hell. Here’s to 25 more!

Guess who’s back, back again
Trump made another spot in Mob-Town over the weekend. So if you thought you saw Santa’s sleigh, I think you were probably seeing the Trump plane.

Thousands gathered at Ladd-Peebles Stadium once again to welcome the president-elect to Mobile once again. The Donald said, “This is where it all began,” and from what Boozie has heard this is where it’s all goin’ down.

I won’t get on my soap box about any of it, but I will say when I was in high school Azalea Trail Maids were all the good, smart girls. Not sure how some people see them as racist Southern belles. But people gotta complain about something, as if cutting down another poor, innocent tree wasn’t enough. SMH. What happened to the overexcited lady from last time? Why couldn’t she have been there to distract people?

Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ Christmas party lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!