Last Minute Turkey Talk: a procrastinator’s guide to Thanksgiving

In our last issue we discussed ways to get ahead of the game for Turkey Day shopping. But if there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that despite having a big mouth and a tendency to shout from the rooftops, there are still people who aren’t going to listen to me. I know. It’s absurd. I really shouldn’t call you out as a poor planner or, even worse, a poor listener, as I am certain many of you did your best to get your shopping taken care of before this blessed day was upon us.

There are sure to be forgotten items, things that come up missing, the occasional spoiled fruit or the need for Pepto-Bismol. Maybe a beer run is in order. With the help of my assistant and spiritual advisor Courtney Anthony we have worked tirelessly to put together a list of places, confirmed via telephone or in person, that have agreed to our pleas and demands to remain open, however briefly, so that we may shop to correct our mistakes on Thanksgiving Day.

Best place to meet friends who also overlooked an ingredient

Of course, grocery stores are of highest importance. Here is what the representatives told us. Winn Dixie will be open 6 a.m. until 4 p.m. for all you Catherine Street Mid-towners. Downtown will appreciate Sav-a-Lot open from 8 a.m. until 4 p.m. Food For Less is keeping the lights on from 7 a.m. until 2 p.m.

Westward leading we have Greer’s Cash Saver behind What-A-Burger on Government Street from 7 a.m. until 1 p.m. Of course, if you get there too late you can follow I-65 North to Wal-Mart. They are open 24 hours a day. If you don’t hang with that crowd, Food Champs on Dauphin will be open a very generous 7 a.m. until 4 p.m.

Our Spring Hill neighbors will appreciate Rouses Market on Old Shell being open from 7 a.m. until 2 p.m. and our favorite specialty store just down the street, Food Pak, was iffy on the times but finally settled on the Dolly Parton (that’s 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. for you youngsters). 7 Spice Mediterranean will be open 9 a.m. to 11 p.m., but note that this is the grocery only. The restaurant will not be serving.

Publix decided to stay home and watch the parade and will be closed all day.

If you have a grocer I overlooked then I apologize, but I’m not calling another store. I have restaurants to wrangle.

Best place for Thanksgiving where someone else does the cooking

The Trellis Room at the Battle House is sold out for the day, but you will be happy to know the Joe Cain Café will be open from 10:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. It’s a shame. That Trellis Room menu looks amazing.

The Riverview Hotel’s Harbor Room will be serving a buffet from 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. with plenty of seats available. Price is $39 for adults and $17 for children. The other restaurant, Fathom’s will be open from 2 p.m. until 11 with a little less traditional fare.

The Grand Hotel in Point Clear has a brunch and a dinner service. The first one begins at 10:30 a.m. and plays out at 1:45 p.m. while the latter is a quick 5 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. Both are the same price at $61.95 per adult, $30.50 per child.

In the corporate world you could play a giant game of checkers at Cracker Barrel while you wait for a seat anywhere from 6 a.m. until 10 p.m. Golden Corral basically upped the price of everything by $1 for the Thanksgiving feast they will be serving from 10:30 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Best place to get away from the in-laws and eat something besides turkey

The OK Bicycle Shop and Dauphin St. Taqueria will open for drinks at 3 p.m. and will start slinging sushi and Mexican at 5 p.m. sharp. Taco eating ends at midnight while the sushi slinging continues until 2 a.m.

TGI Fridays opens at 3 p.m. and continues operations until 1 a.m.

Waffle House and IHOP will not interrupt their 24-hour schedule.

So far Dominoes is the only pizza delivery we have come across, and they don’t begin serving until 4 p.m. All of the Starbucks are setting their own schedules but the one closest to me at Catherine and Government streets will be brewing from 5:30 a.m. until 4 p.m.

Now keep in mind, I am only giving you options. It is totally up to you to decide which one of these is the best place to get away from your in-laws, outlaws, annoying cousins, irritating nephews, nagging nieces, drunken uncles and, if you’re a smart aleck college kid home from the University, your parents. Do not fret my future alumni. As you grow older you will appreciate your folks more with each passing year. But that drunken uncle will always ruin the holidays for you, even after he sobers up and goes to AA.

I wish a very happy Thanksgiving to all our dear readers. And our drunken uncles.