It’s go time, boys and girls. Senior Bowl is this weekend. And Mardi Gras is next. Hope you all got enough rest because we’re full on until Ash Wednesday. No whining or crying allowed. Ladies and gentlemen, grab your flasks and start your livers!
Let the Senior Bowl Sightings begin…
At press time, all of the NFL folks were just getting into town, but we hear there have already been large men in various team attire spotted at all the usual locales: The Riverview, Battle House, Veet’s, Royal Scam, Heroes, Wintzell’s, Bike Shop and Callaghan’s. One restaurateur said he had had plenty of scouts in, but no big names yet. But he also said business had been really good. Big men with little names drink as much as big men with big names apparently. Does that make any sense? I think Confucius may have said something like that.
Anyway, we did get word that local musician Ryan Balthrop, who had a gig earlier in the week at the Riverview, was seen taking a photo with University of Alabama’s Blake Sims and Jalston Fowler.
Next issue, expect the full scoop on where all these people were eating and drinking. Because, hey, that’s exciting news!
Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha gonna do?
Apparently they are going to run from you if you are Mobile Police Officer Jermaine “The Stallion” Rogers.
The Mobile Police Department was featured on a recent episode of “Cops” on Spike TV and let’s just say, the suspect Officer Rogers detained seemed to be a bit impaired. It became obvious something was in his mouth, so Rogers asked him to spit it out. At that point, the suspect took off. The officer chased him and was ultimately able to get him. Once he got him in the back of the squad car, Officer Rogers told him not to run from him again because he was a “stallion.” He was able to find the drugs he spit out and take him into custody.
Who is this police stallion, you ask?
According to a profile on the Cops webpage, Officer Rogers has been an officer since November 2012. He says the best part of his job is “that I get to change the way people think of police officers. My first week on the streets by myself, my plans were to meet with the community I patrol. I came across several kids playing basketball and all of them ran in the house. After making contact with the kids I advised them that I just wanted to play basketball. They couldn’t believe that a police officer would actually take the time out to play with them. Now those same kids run to my car when they see me and that is the best part of my job. I want children to have the same outlook on law enforcement that I had as a child.”
That’s so nice. We love this guy! Thank you for your service, Officer Rogers. Keep up the excellent work!
The big-boobied sphinxes are famous!
“Vice,” the sci-fi flick filmed in Mobile a while back was released on Jan. 16. The film starring Bruce Willis and Thomas Jane features a “resort” populated by robots called “artificials.” And I might add, most of these “artificials” are really hot women. Humans can pay to go into this resort and live out all of their rapey, robbery, murdery fantasies. As one reviewer put it, it’s like being able to be in a real life (sort of ) “Grand Theft Auto” video game. Willis owns the resort. Jane plays the detective who is fed up with the actions inside said resort bleeding into the real world. Sounds interesting and plausible enough, huh?
Well, let’s just say the reviews have not been kind, to put it mildly. But we don’t have to care about the quality of the movie, we just want to see all of our landmarks make an appearance on the big screen … or at least the screen in your living room.
And in the trailer alone, you get a glimpse of Dauphin Street right at Bienville Square, the Convention Center, the steps at what I think may be the RSA Tower and The Temple, including a close up shot of everyone’s favorite golden big-boobied sphinxes. You could ask them for their autographs, but unfortunately they don’t have hands.
And of course, you can look for all your friends who worked as extras. WZEW deejay Gene Murrell even had a speaking part and I hear he really “kills” it. And I am dead serious. If you didn’t get those subtle hints, then well spoiler alert: he is actually the first one to die in the movie. Impressive!
“Vice” is currently available on On-Demand. I feel a Mobile landmark drinking game coming on!
The survey says…
We hear one local family may soon be appearing on everyone’s favorite game show, “The Family Feud.” We will keep you posted on this developing story.
Our friends at Griffith Service Station apparently got an eye full last week. Apparently the overnight man was there alone in the wee hours of the morning when strolling down Ann Street was a gentleman wearing nothing but a pair of white tube socks.
On his feet. This wasn’t one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
According to our spy, the nude walker wasn’t in any particular hurry and seemed perfectly proud of his attire. At least he chose white socks to warn motorists of his presence. Smart.
Well kids, that’s all I have for this one. Like I said, I will let you know where all of your favorite NFL coaches had hamburgers in the next issue. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ “artificials” lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!