Batten down the hatches! Stock up on batteries, Beanie-Weenies and beer! As I am writing this, Tropical Storm/Hurricane Gordon is making his way toward us. Schools are closing and weathermen will soon start losing their sports coats and rolling up their sleeves, while the folks in the field will break out their rain gear and stand in front of the Gulf and stressfully talk about the storm, whether he looks like a monster or just a regular ol’ Gulf Coast rainy day. Hopefully, Gordon will be much ado about nothing and will be gone in a “flash.” See, what I did there? If not, you’re probably too young. #Iamold

Cantore alert

On Monday night, folks on the Mississippi Coast were atwitter as images of The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore arriving at the Gulfport airport began circulating on social media. Don’t worry, Gulportians! It seems wherever Jim starts his storm coverage, the storm almost always moves east or west from his first locale. This is almost a certain meteorological fact. So this may not bode well for us or New Orleans.

But poor Jim! You have to fly commercial? Whaaaaaatttt? Can’t The Weather Channel spring for a private jet? I hope you at least got first class!

Hippity hop on Dauphin Island

The ol’ Boozester has been around the block a few times, so when a spy says “You aren’t going to believe what I saw when I was down on Dauphin Island!” I usually just laugh and say “Try me!” There are very few reports from my favorite, delightfully quirky barrier island that surprise me. But I’ll have to admit, this one kind of did.

Apparently there were two kangaroos on the beach! No, they hadn’t escaped from the zoo, and Crocodile Dundee was not on the island. Nope, it seems the joeys, who were wearing diapers and were on leashes, were the pets of a woman visiting from Louisiana.

I swear, the last conversation I had with someone from Louisiana, they told me they raised wolves as pets. What is going on down there, people? Are there pet gators too? I’m sure it’s all about how you raise them, right? They can be very affectionate … before they eat you!

Anyway, my dream is that these two kangaroos end up in a live shot with Jim Cantore. Please make it happen, weather gods! Please!

Packing PJ heat?

So one of my spies decided to get a little late-morning grub at the Waffle House on Airport near Sage on Labor Day morning. He said the place was absolutely packed and it was hard to find a spot, which made the people-watching even more fun.

He said one woman and her family particularly caught his eye. It was a couple and they had their baby with them in a stroller. Nothing strange about that. My spy said the lady was wearing pajama pants, which is a little “People of Walmart-ish” but not uncommon to see at Waffle House either. I mean, it is a breakfast place, shouldn’t you be able to dress like you just rolled out of bed?

But anyway, what troubled him the most about these pajama bottoms was that the woman clearly had an open carry permit and had a gun attached to said PJs. WTF?

I’m sure there is no required dress code that comes along with carrying a gun but it seems a waistband and something not made out of plaid flannel should be required. Something just doesn’t feel right about this. In fact, I was thinking about this, and I can’t really think of anything stranger to be wearing while packing heat.

“Family Feud” auditions

Love Steve Harvey? Want to make inappropriate small talk with him while rubbing his bald head? Is your family crazy? And I mean crazy-fun, not crazy, crazy. Well, you may be able to head to Wind Creek Casino to audition on Sept. 15 and 16. Please note this is by appointment only. You have to go to first! Just do it. (It will give me more to write about!)

Well kids, that’s all I got this week. Stay safe during the storm and wear jeans when you openly carry weapons. And just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ Cantore lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!