It suddenly seems like it’s 9,000 degrees already. How did that happen? Oh wait it’s summer along the Gulf Coast. That’s how! Don’t worry, there are plenty of things to get you both hot and bothered, that have nothing to do with the heat and/or humidity. So let’s dive right in.

Dragons hit the water

The inaugural “Dragon Boat Festival” put on by the Fuse Project was a huge success on Saturday, June 7 at Five Rivers.

The inaugural “Dragon Boat Festival” put on by The Fuse Project was a huge success, raising $95,000 for local charities.

The inaugural “Dragon Boat Festival” put on by The Fuse Project was a huge success, raising $95,000 for local charities.

The Fuse Project, which raises money for children’s charities, raised a whopping $95,000 for this year’s recipients, the Alabama Coastal Foundation and the Mobile County Public School System. Wowzers!

You can see how though. The unique event featured Chinese-style rowing boats, each manned by teams of folks from area schools, businesses, churches and other organizations. They raced down the Mobile River Delta, as one designated member tapped on a drum, as the others rowed their way to victory. We hear the drummer position was the most desirable (i.e. EASY!), and our sources say MCPSS’ Nancy Pierce got that spot on one of their boats.

My spies said there was quite the drama on the not-so-high seas, with at least two collisions — one in the first heat (a boat capsized and all passengers went in the water) and one in the finals. Both involved the same team: Performance Contractors, who still somehow managed to place second overall. Well something should be said for that!

The spies also said someone lost their “Drone Camera” when a gust of wind came and knocked it in the water. Now as you may have suspected, Boozie is not very tech savvy, unless it involves the latest in frozen drink mixing or wine bottle opening technology, but are people really carrying around personal “Drone Cameras” now? Did the spy mean one of those Go Pro thingamajigs? Or hell maybe they are one and the same. I don’t know, but it sounds expensive either way.

The Boozester has heard nothing but fabulous things about this event and folks are already assembling their teams for next year. If they raised almost a hundred grand in year one, just imagine what year two is going to rake (or row) in.

Congrats to the organizers for doing such a tremendous job for these very worthy causes.

Boobs on the Boulevard

So one of our spies, staying at a condo near Gulf State Park, witnessed a group of about five or six hot girls walking from their condo across the street to the beach. The traffic was heavy, so they were stopped in the middle of Beach Boulevard long enough for a group of young gentleman to hang out of the window and “cat call” them.

Well this call of the wild, so to speak, promoted one “lady” to pull up her bathing suit top and quickly flash her girls to the car and other passing vehicles. Another car down the way must have seen the response to the previous car because they began doing the same thing to the girl who had put her top back down. She once again put on a show for this new group of young men. I’m sure her momma would be proud of her little girl gone wild.

Martha in town?

Word on the well-manicured street is that the domestic diva herself Martha Stewart may have been in town. It seems a local bakery was asked to make a wedding cake and banana pudding for a local couple’s nuptials that Martha was supposed to attend last week. Will you let know if we hear if she got to taste the nanner puddin’.

More marquee madness

Diamonds Gentleman’s Club on Airport Boulevard has been on a roll lately with their sign out front. Around graduation, they put “Now hiring class of 2013.” Now, they have a suggestion for a cure for erectile dysfunction, as it simply says “A substitute to Viagra.”

Nappie Time
Starting next issue, the Nappie ballots will begin appearing, so start figuring out your favorite bartenders, burgers and beauty shops, because it’s almost time to start the voting.

Well kids, that’s all I got this time. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ boobie lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!