Holy Shamrocks! The rain couldn’t keep all of Crichton’s — as well as greater Mobile and Baldwin’s — leprechauns from “getting their Irish on” Saturday, March 15, which is when many local pubs held their St. Paddy’s day extravaganzas. Though I’m told the only “pots of gold” found were the port-o-lets at various Irish pubs.

But alas, people still got lucky in other ways and I hear no four-leafed clovers were required. So let’s get to it and dive right on in to this edition of Boozie Beer O’Neus’ o’ so tasty gossip.

St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans o’plenty

My spies said Callaghan’s in the OGD was hoppin’, with music all day, culminating with patrons who found their own musical pot of gold with performances by Kansas Bible Company and St. Paul and the Broken Bones.

Speaking of pots of gold or otherwise, we hear the rain from the tent at Callaghan’s outdoor stage was just pouring down on one of the outside port-o-lets, dumping water right on the little potty’s entrance. So one of the owners was trying to move it out from under the massive stream, when someone cried out they were in it, possibly interrupting their own stream.

I’m sure they were envisioning some sort of nightmare “Jackass” scenario when it first started moving, like the potty being pushed over entirely, but luckily the owner heard the lass or lad’s cries and stopped with the potty relocation until they were done with their business. (Never thought I would use the term potty relocation in a column. Yay!)

Also, there were at least three men sporting various kilts. Not sure if the rain dampened their spirits down under, if you know what I mean.

One poor guy even managed to get “lucky,” despite not having a kilt and after experiencing some unfortunate personal incidents. The gentleman was seen leaning up against one of the columns on the outside patio with what appeared to be urine on his khakis – though my spies said they did debate whether it was tee-tee or if he had just spilled a drink on himself in an unfortunate location on his pants. Anyway, there was a trash can right next to him and without missing a beat, he leaned over and let’s just say, he got rid of all the Jameson and Lucky Charms in his tummy right in front of all the folks on the patio, who quickly got out of his way.

My spies said that they guessed this upchuck made him feel a bit better because not an hour later he was spotted making out with a chick in the middle of Marine Street. Boozie gives huge props to this romantic leprechaun. If you can pee yourself (allegedly), vomit and then still make out with what was described as an attractive girl, you really do have some sort of luck and/or charm.

Downtown, men and women in green dresses and even painted green bodies hit the streets to participate in O’Daly’s Green Dress Run. Afterwards, they packed the downtown pub to hear a fantabulous set by the The Mulligan Brothers, who have just been getting a tremendous amount of buzz lately, and what I hear was also a great —although rather brief set — by ‘90s rockers Sister Hazel. My spy said it was funny to see men still clad in their green dresses from the run rockin’ out to the bands.

My spies at Lucky’s (formerly Paddy O’ Tooles) said the green beer and Irish car bombs were plentiful and the crowd was great — all except two “ladies” who were asked to leave after calling the bartenderess the B word. I can think of another B word for that behavior and it’s followed by an S one.

The infamous WPMI “Crichton Leprechaun” news story is the gift that just keeps on giving. With millions of views on youtube, complete with numerous remixes and spoofs, the leprechaun has put Mobile on the map as much as Mardi Gras, if not more (sadly).

On St. Patrick’s Day many folks were seen sporting “Amateur Sketch” shirts. WPMI featured a pic of the sketch during their weather report and made the leprechaun their “Facebook Friend of the Day.” And Scott Walker, the former Local15 personality who co-anchored the famous “Leprechaun” report, was giving away related prizes on his Twitter account leading up to St. Patrick’s Day this year (leprechaun report coffee mug/leprechaun report T-shirt). Walker, who worked for WMPI from 2000-2007, is currently at WDSU-TV in New Orleans. 

Another St. Patrick’s Day is in the books and if you saw some crazy stuff, just remember it could have been a crackhead that done got ahold of the wrong stuff.

Thanks to all of the bartenders who worked their arses off to make all our Irish dreams and hangovers possible.

Dr. Brown spotted back at Sam’s

The Mobile mayoral race this past summer was certainly one of the most interesting in the Port City’s history, and that was due in large part to Dr. Doris Brown, a hospitality expert and political newcomer of sorts, who had some interesting ideas, including building our own cruise ship and having a downtown walk with cats on leashes.

Many were sad to see her go off the radar after Sandy Stimpson bested her and incumbent Sam Jones in the election. But I am told her fans can still visit see her again, as she is still working in a hospitality position at the Sam’s Club at Springdale Mall. My spy said, “she looked great, had beautiful make up and hair, a great smile on her face and a great greeting…so hurray for her.”

Panty mystery at Society Shell solved

There’s always something delicious and/or entertaining going on at the world famous “Society Shell” on Ann and Government, technically Griffith Service Center now, but forever Society Shell in our hearts.

Anyway, my spies said a mysterious box showed up at the station and inside there were pairs of women’s thong panties — at least one was monogrammed with an owner’s name and others with employee’s names. The station was puzzled by the mysterious package and its contents, until finally a customer fessed up saying they saw them at a thrift store and couldn’t resist. But the question I am sure all Boozie Beer Nues readers want to know: where are the thongs now?

Spacey in Mob-town? Is this true?

No one seems to be able to confirm this but there is a rumor Kevin Spacey was in Mobile recently. The Boozester who has just finished the second season of “House of Cards” would have liked to have known this, as she is obsessed with his Netflix series and his evil character Frank Underwood. If you spotted the Spacester, let me know.

Mardi Gras leftovers

Just askin’….which old Mobile Mardi Gras organization ran out of vodka at their ball? (The spy who told me this seemed to indicate the organization should feel shame, but I think it should be worn as a badge of honor.)

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am told it is NOT true the Conde Explorers refused to allow the Prancing Elites to march in their parade because of some sort of prejudice or fear of controversy. (Hello they are one of — if not the only — multiracial and gender Mardi Gras organizations, so no surprise there.) My spy said there was simply some “rules issue” that prevented them from marching, or well, elitely prancing.

I’m told that after the Joe Cain controversy, where organizers of the Joe Cain parade, charged foot marchers $20 each, there is a rebellion shaping up, where folks are trying to organize their own parade for next year. Old Slac’ would be proud.

Well kids, that’s all I got this time. So just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ Crichton leprechaun lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!