Capricorn (12/22-1/19) — Hearing that state legislators are cooking up a tax break for big box retailers, you intend to work a little harder to support small businesses. Your spirit woman is Marie Curie.
Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — Inspired by Martin Luther King Jr.’s ministry toward the poor, you look into steps you can take to support the “sh*thole” countries of the world. Your spirit woman is Lillian Smith.
Pisces (2/19-3/20) — After your informal inquiry is denied, you’ll have to file a public records request to get the winning recipe from the Mobile Police Department’s chili cook-off. Your spirit woman is Margaret Sanger.
Aries (3/21-4/19) — Don’t make excuses, you cheddar go to the grand opening of The Cheese Cottage this Friday, before the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity gets a-whey. Your spirit woman is Ella Fitzgerald.
Taurus (4/20-5/20) — You’ll witness one of the most controversial moments in music history when Eric Erdman performs at his own album release party without his fedora. Your spirit woman is Dolores Huerta.
Gemini (5/21-6/21) — You’ll lobby the Mobile Arts Council to include a category for “Best WAVE bus attorney advertisement” in next year’s Arty Awards. Your spirit woman is Florence Nightingale.
Cancer (6/22-7/22) — Feeling strengthened by your New Year diet, you’ll settle disputes the old fashioned way, with a punch to the crotch followed by a Bautista Bomb. Your spirit woman is Joan of Arc.
Leo (7/23-8/22) — You’ll open a referral service for displaced parishioners of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, attempting to find spiritual homes for them in any of the other 1,647,534 churches in the area. Your spirit woman is Mother Teresa.
Virgo (8/23-9/22) — You’ll take the Star Wars theme of Fairhope Brewing Co.’s fifth anniversary a little too seriously, causing a great disturbance in The Force. Your spirit woman is Eleanor Roosevelt.
Libra (9/23-10/22) — You attempt to solve ADA compliance problems by giving handicapped people access to monster trucks. Your spirit woman is Malala Yousafzai.
Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — You’ll attend the Mobile Symphony Orchestra’s performance of “Four Seasons” just to remember what spring, summer and fall feel like. Your spirit woman is Emily Dickinson.
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) — Feeling a little adventurous, you’ll place a pineapple upside down in your shopping cart and walk around Wal-Mart just to see what happens next. Your spirit woman is Rosa Parks.