Virgo (8/24-9/22) — Always down for a Mardi Gras procession, especially in the summer, you’ll don your mask and beads and march in the Gulf Coast Challenge second line parade. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the sweet potato contest.

Libra (9/23-10/22) — This weekend’s Jubilee Festival of Art in Daphne provides yet another opportunity to add to the gallery of crab art adorning your mudroom. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Committed to environmentalism, rather than expand the shipping channel, you offer to carry excess shipping containers on your back from Dauphin Island to the the Port of Mobile. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the Pyskany egg exhibit.

Sagittarius (11/22-12/22) — In the latest scheme to pay off your student loan debt immediately, you email the Mobile Housing Board an invoice using the address “totallyNOTahacker@aol.com.” Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the calf scramble.

Capricorn (12/23-1/19) — With heat indices reaching the triple digits, you’ll bring a new definition to the phrase “casual Friday” by dressing down in the office with a pair of jorts and tank top. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the Ferris Wheel.

Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — Rather than make downtown more walkable, you suggest replacing the roads with canals for stand up paddleboarding. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is Reggie Purvis, the “Raging Cajun” rodeo clown.

Pisces (2/19-3/20) — Saddened and discouraged by the Catholic Church’s refusal to shed light on its extensive child sex abuse problem, you’d do better offering tithes to any of the area’s more reputable nonprofit organizations. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is The Zipper ride.

Aries (3/21-4/19) — Eager to witness the latest fallout from the #metoo era, you take a vacation day Monday to watch Brett Kavanaugh lie to a Senate panel. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the South Alabama Antique Tractor & Engine Club.

Taurus (4/20-5/20) — Reading about explosive growth in the city of Foley, you invest your life savings into Lambert’s throwed rolls. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the Pee Wee Goat Show.

Gemini (5/21-6/21) — Finally getting confirmation from “Sesame Street” writers that Bert and Ernie are indeed gay, you carry on with your life and don’t intrude in theirs. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the duck pond and baby chicks.

Cancer (6/22-7/22) — Few things are as difficult as writing as personalized horoscope for your loved one. Try it sometime, you’ll see. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is the cotton candy booth.

Leo (7/23-8/23) — You finally convince Gov. Kay Ivey to participate in a debate with Walt Maddox when you require both candidates to answer questions in the form of a prayer to Jesus. Your lucky attraction at the Baldwin County Fair is Victoria Ann Wood, the “Alabama Cowgirl.”