We did it! We did it! We did it! We survived another Mardi Gras! So maybe we lost our phones, drivers’ licenses and/or debit cards … again, not to mention our self-respect and dignity. But hey, those things are overrated and we have all of Lent to try and get them back.

I typically find my self-respect returns right around the time my hangover goes away, so I should be all good by the first Lenten weekend. But that’s neither here nor there. The good times definitely rolled. And rolled and rolled. They rolled all over several of my spies apparently because I haven’t even heard from some of them yet.

So without further adieu, let the good gossip roll. Laissez les bon Boo-zay rouler.

Maher leftovers

When liberal comedian/talk show host Bill Maher came to perform at the Saenger recently we hear his contract called for him to have some time to get his thoughts together pre-show, along with a particular brand of tequila. 

Unfortunately, we hear the wrong brand made it up to the third floor of the venerable theater and Mr. Maher was none-too-pleased. Stepping in as the hero of the day, though, was one of Dauphin Street’s more politically conservative bar owners who provided the “Real Time” star a bottle of his preferred libation. 

Just goes to show that when it comes to booze we can all put our differences behind us. 

We also hear Mr. Maher enjoyed some more cocktails after the show at a local gentleman’s club, where our spy said he was most respectful of the talent and he definitely has a type.

Nasty, odd throws caught this year

Strangest throw I heard of this year was a pair of men’s briefs. Gosh, I sure hope they were new. My spy said he saw them hit the ground but refused to touch them in case they were taken off and hurled off the float as a throw. Ewww!

Also, one spy said she caught what appeared to be a dog’s chew toy. “It was a plush cheeseburger and it looked like it may have been taken out of Fido’s mouth just before his master loaded the float. It was filthy.” Also a dirty Sponge Bob, Mickey Mouse and Ramen Noodles were all reported. And there seems to be mixed reviews over the new salted caramel MoonPie flavor.

Wild Mauvillians get wild at Moe’s

One of the newer Joe Cain organizations, the Wild Mauvillians, had a fantastic party at Moe’s BBQ on Joe Cain Sunday. The Mauvillians were of course all dressed as Indians, complete with wild headdresses and even wilder make-up. Some ladies were seen trying on some of the headdresses.

The guests were treated to delicious ‘cue and tunes from The Banditos and Grammy-nominated band The Lost Bayou Ramblers. Peacefully protesting a new rule, which required foot marchers in the parade to pay $20, they had their own procession just before the Joe Cain one. The marchers said the police were quite helpful and one Mauvillian said Chief James Barber even personally escorted them.

The Wild Mauvillians had offered to pay a portion of all of the foot marchers’ fees (around $400) but the Joe Cain parade organizers declined because the amount they proposed would not have covered all of the marchers. But a kind gesture nonetheless — one I’m sure Chief Slac himself would have appreciated.

Comic Cowboys poke fun at cops, Jockisch

I had a spy at the Comic Cowboys barn party and in true Comic Cowboy fashion, they poked fun at local officials, politicos, all “without malice,” as they like to say.

Former county commissioner Freeman Jockisch, who was recently arrested for electronic solicitation of a child for sex, was the target of at least a couple of signs. One featured a picture of former judge Herman Thomas who was known for spanking boys he mentored and/or who came before him in court, with a wooden paddle.

The sign read, “Herman sez: Damn Freeman, Spank ‘em, Don’t Screw ‘em.” Jockisch went on TV shortly after his arrest and said he couldn’t even have sex because he was impotent, earning him a Cowboys’ sign that said “Impotent until Proven Guilty.”

The MPD had a couple of sex scandals this year and some of the officers were charged with conduct unbecoming of an officer. This earned them a sign reading, “Mobile Police Officers disciplined for “conduct unbecoming? Seems like they be-coming all the time!” There was also another sign showing a police car rocking with feet hanging out of the windows. It read, “Crime is not the only thing going down in Precinct 69!”

Poking a little fun at Mayor Sandy Stimpson about several of his staffers living in Baldwin County, there was one sign that had a pic of Fred Richardson on it that read, “Why does Mayor Sandy want a new bay bridge? So his staff can get to work.”

There were also several Alabama and Auburn football signs, as well as some on national topics, featuring President Obama and The Clintons.

Well kids, that’s all I got this time. I’m sure we will have some leftover Gras scoop next time once the spies sober up, as well as all your St. Paddy’s day gossip. Let your livers rest a day or two and then get back to being bad. Don’t give up anything that makes you misbehave for Lent. It’s bad for my business.

Just remember rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ dirty Mardi Gras throw lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!