I know, I know. We’re all hot. We’re all miserable. We’re all cranky. Boozie says don’t whine, when you can wine! And also enjoy some of very own her delicious gossip grigio, which has undertones of pineapple and snarkiness. So pour yourself a glass and suck it down!

And the winner is…
In this issue, you will find the winners of the 2015 Lagniappe readers’ choice awards known as The Nappies. We all survived this year, but just barely. The folks who pay my bar tab wanted to let you know the scoop on what happened this year, so here goes. The Nappies are our biggest undertaking of the year and always have been, but we have never seen the level of intensity we saw during the voting process this year … which was exciting, but also served to cause some disappointment, as this isn’t tee-ball and we can’t all win. (There’s some of that snarkiness I promised.)

We mixed things up a bit this year by splitting the voting into two phases. During the first phase, we asked readers to vote for any business or person they would like in over 260 categories. We tallied up the top vote-getters in each category and determined the finalists. During this “nomination” process, we received a little over 100,000 online and paper ballot votes. That part went just swimmingly and was pretty much a version of how it always had been done in the past. In the previous 12 years, we just allowed people to vote for whomever and we would name a winner and a runner up.

But adding the finals phase of the competition really took this thing into warp drive. In the first day of finals voting, we received so many votes it crashed our website. And then once we got it back up, it crashed again. We eventually had to be put on our own server, as our web folks told us we were getting the traffic of 300 websites combined.

We received more paper ballots than we have ever received too, and when it was all said and done they totaled nearly a million, which is about 900,000 more than we had ever received in any previous Nappie competition.

So yes, with all that voting, there were a few upsets that caused some folks to, well, be really, really, really upset. And it upsets us too. To see every single nominee in a category get thousands of votes and five of them still not win, well it made our collective Lagniappe stomach hurt too.

But we hope all of the nominees realize how much support they received and they all should be proud — even if they didn’t win. As cheesy as it sounds, it really was an honor just to be nominated. This is supposed to fun after all! And after all, there’s always next year to plot your revenge! Muhahahahahahaha!

Tree protesting a biting experience
In a little leftover Oakapocalypse news, we hear the lady who chained herself to a tree across from Bienville Square as a developer cut down several oaks to make way for a new Hilton Garden Inn was allegedly battling more than just the police threatening to arrest her. Our spies say the very fair-complected woman was being attacked by large ants, presumably unearthed and displaced by the tree removal. The spies said you could see them just gnawing away on her ankles. Ouch! No wonder she was so ready to leave when the cops asked her to move.

Nic Cage – gamer or just good dad?
Our spy says Nicolas Cage has been spotted at the Game Stop several times getting video games presumably for his kid. The spy said he was in last week returning a copy of “WWE 2015” and that “he smelled nice and had a hot wife.” Enjoy the Cage gossip while you can, as they will be wrapping things up on “USS:Indianapolis” really soon.

Well, kids, that’s all I got. It’s the calm before the storm of the Nappie party and after-party, which will just be epic and provide plenty of oh-so-tasty gossip. So just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ mediocre Nic Cage gossip, I will be there. Ciao!