Reality shows, birthday parties, dirty old men, elevators from hell and flying facial hair! Holy Moly, Mobile! You never disappoint me. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, someone goes and builds a flying mustache.

We’ve got loads of delicious and hairy gossip to get to this issue, so we better get going….

Reality Show in Mobile?

One of my spies was in Hertha’s consignment store in Spring Hill last week and they were filming what the spy was told was a “reality series.” According to the spy, models lounged around drinking champagne and another person, who was dressed to look like a very old woman, suddenly broke into “super athletic dancing, including splits and balletic leaps.” And upon closer inspection this dancer was actually a young guy. All in front of a small camera crew, while that Robin Thicke song played, and people shopped. Our spy says the young man was also doing the favorite dance move du jour — twerking — whilst wearing a fake butt. You can’t make this stuff up folks.

But oh my! Lounging around with models while drinking champagne? Fake butts? That’s the kind of reality show the Boozester could get into! I can’t wait to hear more details on this one.

P-R celebrates 200th Anniversary

Although the new incarnation of the Press-Register as mostly a digital news product, rather than a traditional newspaper, is just about to celebrate its first birthday, the staid old print side of things is turning 200.

We had a couple of spies at their shindig at Space 301 Sept. 12 celebrating this milestone last week. Said spies reported that there were about 100 people at the event throughout the evening, mostly current employees. There was a slide show in the back showing the P-R throughout the years, including the old building and the current building, but no mention of where they may be moving next.

Their current building was recently sold to Bishop State. They said when they put the building up for sale, they would be looking for an office at “the corner of Main and Main.”

Attendees were served fish tacos, chicken salad and wine. Mobile’s “hub director” Randy Kennedy did most of the talking, and Mobile’s mayor-elect Sandy Stimpson also made a few remarks. Guests were given coffee mugs as favors.

Happy 200th to the P-R and Happy 1st to al.com/press-register!

O’Daly’s takes facial hair to new heights

Is it a bird? A plane? No, it’s a flying mustache! Yes, the folks at one of our favorite LoDa watering holes, O’Daly’s, have made an aircraft (of sorts) that resembles a mustache. What, you think that sounds weird? Well, it’s not. You see Matt Lemond and his staff are competing in Red Bull’s Flugtag competition.

What in the heck is a Flugtag, you ask?

“Flugtag, German for ‘flight day,’ is an event organized by Red Bull, where competitors attempt to fly home-made, human-powered flying machines. These flying machines are launched off a 30-foot platform towards the sea and are judged on distance, creativity of craft and showmanship. Regional teams compete to win top honors at National Red Bull Flugtag 2013. The O’Daly’s team will be the only team from the state of Alabama to compete in the event held in Miami, on Sept. 21,” according to a press release sent out by organizers.

There is a People’s Choice Award, so make sure to vote for our hometown team, so we can bring home the gold, or whatever it is you win for crafting and flying a mustache. All you have to do is text MIA6 to RBULL (72855). Voting will begin on Thursday, Sept 19. at 9 a.m. and continue until the last craft flies on Sept. 21.

Hell-evator!

You may have heard about the possessed elevator that got stuck at Government Plaza a few weeks ago. It was horrible enough the poor people inside the stalled elevator had to climb out of the escape hatch on top and be assisted to the next floor by the Mobile Fire Department, but we are also hearing from our GP spies that the elevator free-fell three floors before stopping. Let’s just say they would have been mopping up the floor if Boozie had been in that box of terror.

Mug shot commentary

Everyone’s favorite online photo and “party shot” gallery, gotbustedmobile.com, a site which displays real time mug shots of everyone who gets arrested and booked into Mobile’s Metro.

Jail and Baldwin County Jail has added an exciting new feature. Instead of just screaming at your co-workers to come look at some unfortunate lady’s mascara running down her face or some shirtless man with a fresh head wound (hello resisting arrest!) and talking about it with them, you can now add your witty commentary on the site by clicking on each mug shot and adding your thoughts to their new message board. And yes, each offender gets their very own message board. Just when you thought getting arrested for soliciting prostitution couldn’t get more humiliating…

Missed Connection of the Week

It’s been a while since we cruised the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist, and I think we have been missing a lot of delicious insanity. If you are not familiar, people try to connect or reconnect with people they may have seen at a grocery store, gym, restaurant, etc. Sometimes they know the person, sometimes they don’t. They may have made idle chit chat as strangers or just exchanged a look, but whatever the case one party tries to reach out to the other via this website.

This has to be the best one the Boozester has seen in a while:

“Sleazy old man wants Cracker Barrel hostess – m4w – 65 (Spanish Fort) The other day I went to the Cracker Barrel in Spanish Fort and was seated by a sexy young blonde. All I kept thinking about is what she would look like strapped to my bed post in a Hooters outfit. I’m 65 years old, bald with a hunch and use a hoveround. This post is to my sexy little hostess, if your (sic) out there reply to this message with a few dirty pics and tell me your over 18. I just refilled my Viagra and I can’t wait to hear from you…you know who you are.”

Wow. Just wow.

Well kids, that’s all I got for this time. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ sleazy old man lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!