Hello, my pretties! We went from ass hot to seventh-ring-of-hell hot in just one weekend. We will reach the ninth ring in another month or so. But it was a glorious holiday weekend, full of barbecues and beaching, pool parties and picnics. Well, maybe not picnics, but clearly I needed another “p”-word to make my alliteration work. You can pick your own if you don’t like it. And what do you have against picnics anyway, you basket-haters!
Anyway, let’s get to all of this hot gossip before we melt.
Thousands of folks headed to Orange Beach and Gulf Shores for the holiday weekend, and many of those same peeps also headed to see Thomas Rhett who performed Saturday and Sunday nights to packed houses at The Wharf Amphitheater. His dad, Rhett Atkins, also performed with his son, as did Dustin Lynch and Russell Dickerson.
My spies said things like, “It was the best show I have ever been to!” And, “He has such incredible stage presence!”
Apparently, the hot and bothered ladies in the crowd seemed to think all of these men were pretty smoking.
Boozie would not know, as she only listens to and fantasizes about Zamfir, master of the pan flute. Oh, Zamy! But if these country boys melt your butter, then more power to you!
And for all you ladies who came of age in the ’90s, you can go relive your glory years on Thursday, June 6, when Hootie and the Blowfish and Barenaked Ladies perform at The Wharf. “I only want to be with you,” Hootie.
Who let the dogs out?
Word on the street is downtown is getting a new doggie daycare and grooming facility, which will also have a doggie boutique. We hear you will even be able to watch your furry friend on an iPhone app. Hmmmm. Do I really want to watch my horrible hound humping all of the other dogs on an iPhone app? Yes, yes I do. No word on location, but my spy said she heard they were hoping to open around August. That will be awesome for all of our downtown doggies!
Bama “Bachelorette” continues to “represent” the state
I can’t lie to you, I just can’t handle watching ABC’s “The Bachelorette,” even now that there is a bachelorette from Bama, who apparently throws in some gratuitous “Roll Tides” from time to time. Maybe, especially now. I am sure “THE University” is so proud.
Anyway, not judging, that shiz is just not my jam. Lucky for me, I know many, very smart people who have always been hopelessly addicted to it since the first season and also to “The Bachelor,” so they keep me up-to-date on the happenings and I can pass those on to my fellow, non-”Bachelorette” watchers, who just want a tiny recap.
So apparently this past Monday, to celebrate Memorial Day (in the worst way possible), Hannah tortured her suitors with a labor simulation machine, and they also were forced to wear pregnant bellies and clothespins on their nipples so they would know what it would be like to breastfeed. Is this some commentary on the Alabama abortion bill? Probably not, but I bet someone on the internet has already made that suggestion.
They also throw chicken nuggets off a roof to make a wish or something.
I am so confused.
Anyway, some guy named Cam got kicked off and apparently we are all happy about that because he told Hannah he was deep, and he definitely is not. That is shocking.
A sign of the times
Diamonds Exclusive Men’s Club has always had a strong game on their marquee and to celebrate graduation, they advertised some “employment opportunities” for those who may be considering a gap year or not going to college. It read, “Now Hiring: Class of 2019.”
Well kids, that’s all I got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ nugget-tossin’ lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!
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