“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” sang Andy Williams. But you know who is also singing that fabulous holiday tune right about now? Yep, this gal. Because there is no time better for a gossip columnist than the holidays. Why, you ask? Two words: office parties!

But before we get to those, we have other leftovers to attend to, and they are as tasty as a post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich on white bread, with a dab of mayo and slice of cranberry. Don’t forget to add a dash of pepper and dig in!

Mobilians invade Bahamas for exclusive Nassau nuptials

My society spy had quite the report from the Bahamas, where a local lovely tied the knot in royal fashion. Often I summarize the reports from the gossip wire, but this one was so cute as is, I just left it as my spy reported it.

“Tons, simply tons of Mobile folk descended on THE Lyford Cay Club on the western end of Nassau last weekend for the nuptials of Meg Bruckmann and Charles Keymer. Meg’s parents David and Helen drew a huge contingent from our Port City, along with many of their friends from the British realm. Chic was just the beginning word to describe the opulence of this enclave of the rich and famous. Having neighbor Sean Connery there and CoCo de Ravenal’s daughter Jackie (the Countess Jacqueline) sitting at tables at the beach club next to you for lunch can only begin to say how grand it was…can you say BIG JEWELS?????
And if you don’t know who those last two are…Look them up in your Debrett’s….and if you don’t know what Debrett’s is….you don’t stand a chance of getting into Lyford Cay with a hacksaw!”

I’ll admit the Boozester didn’t know who or what either of those were until I Googled them, so I guess I’ll just have to go to PCB with my fellow rednecks, but this does sound amazing. I’m glad the Port City was so well represented in the LC.

Now, that’s what I call 2-for-1

Our sources in the service industry say one of the most expensive restaurants in town has a regular who comes in and orders a cocktail from the bar and then refills his/her next two drinks with miniatures they bring in. Eccentric or tacky? You be the judge. I say if you’re going to do that, at least make sure you are slick about it!

Scoop from the Loop

My Fruit Loop spies said “The Queen for a Day Pageant” on Nov. 16 at B-Bob’s was quite competitive, ending up with a tie for runners-up. But the crown was won by “the most gorgeous” Renita Mason Tonder, who was channeling Tina Turner and truly rivaled the Nappie-Award winning Miss Venus. 

The competitors raised more than $1,000 in “tips” from the enthusiastic audience to benefit AIDS South AL. One of the sponsors was MAC Cosmetics who provided the cosmetics and the artists to apply the makeup, and they did a fabulous job.
We hear it was a blast!

Star Wars in the OGD

For some time now, residents of the Oakleigh Garden District have strung star-shaped lights across the beautiful oak-lined streets during the holidays, creating one of the most gorgeous neighborhood light displays in the city. But it seems at least one neighbor thinks they look too “Walmart and/or Dollar Store” and wants the tradition discontinued or replaced with something more in keeping with the historic character of the neighborhood.

Good grief. I’ve heard of wine snobs, beer snobs, dog snobs, even grammar snobs, but a Christmas light snob? I call Bah Humbug on that one. Let the stars fall on the OGD!

No self lovin’

Well, the Boozester did get quite a laugh when a poster came across the gossip wire, which looked like the University of South Alabama had sent out a memo to the guys living in their dorms to not, um — how shall I say this? — not pleasure themselves while in the showers. This poster went viral, so to speak, with many folks thinking it was real.

By the way, we did confirm with USA officials that it was indeed a prank, not that we really had to, because we kind of figured that one out when the memo gave alternate places for said pleasuring to occur, including your roommate’s bed and/or closet. These kids today!

Oh Sweet Home

The new season of the reality love show “Sweet Home Alabama,” filmed in Fairhope and all around Mobile and Baldwin, is back on, and let’s just say some of the fellers don’t look too “sweet,” but once again it perfectly showcases just how beautiful the Gulf Coast is.

One of the “country guys” brought a baby pet raccoon he named Mika along with him. And he looked more interested in her than the very country-sounding Southern belle, Kelsey, who hails from Tuscaloosa and for whose attention they are all vying.

She did send Mika’s man home in the first episode, but I don’t think she was as disgusted by the raccoon love, as she was by the “city guy” who worked on a political campaign. When she asked him which one, he said with pride “President Barack Obama.” When he walked off, she said with the biggest stinkface ever, “Oh, he’s a libbbuuurrulll.”

Needless to say she sent the libbbuuurrulll packing. Poor guy was just looking for love and the Prez ruined it for him. Thanks Obama!

Well kids, that’s all I got this issue. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ tacky Christmas light or college dorm shower lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!