Help, I need help! Where is my life alert button?! Boozie is struggling. These last couple of days have been fun but they are taking it out of me, and I haven’t even made it to Christmas. So much to do, so little time! But no worries, I managed to squeeze all the important stuff into my schedule, like Trombone Shorty, Christmas parties, a ball and more! Get ready because this gossip is better than spiked apple cider.

“Something Beautiful”
This past Wednesday night, the Saenger Theatre was packed for Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue with Galactic opening. If that isn’t a great combo, I don’t know what is.

Boozie was told both acts were great and really put on a show. Erica Falls with Galactic wowed the crowd and Ivan Neville sat in with Trombone Shorty. Both bands had everyone up on their feet dancing the whole night. The Moe’s BBQ staff were all in the “Lincoln” balcony box and seemed to be having the best time. Boozie’s spy also reported the Saenger’s air carried the aroma of something “herbal.” Tea perhaps?

Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas
Thursday night was Lagniappe’s annual Christmas party. As in years past, things got a little cray cray but fun was had by all.
The night started at Callaghan’s for happy hour. Many of the Lagniappe employees and their significant others gathered for drinks of all sorts. Nothing too crazy to report here, the night was still very young and the fun had hardly begun.

Next stop was Azalea Manor for more drinks, food and Dirty Santa. Royal Scam catered and did a great job. If there was a prize for eating the most deviled eggs topped with candied bacon, then Boozie would have taken home the win.

Moving on to the game of dirty Santa. First gift opened was glow-in-the-dark beer pong; the opener of the gift was not very happy. Once the gifts got rolling they got better and people started getting dirty and stealing from each other. Boozie opened a bottle of wine and a Red or White gift certificate and before I could have another sip of my drink it was stolen! Shame on them, don’t they know I need all the help I can get with my alcohol? The next gift the Ol’ Boozester opened was eggnog with bourbon. I would have protested had it been virgin eggnog.

Some of the more popular gifts were Mezcal, a cousin of tequila that had a worm and a pepper in the bottom; a sweater that said “Merry Christmas Bitches” with a bottle of Tito’s; and a douche bag. Well, it was a douche and a bag, a Crown Royal bag at that! It was stolen but Boozie is hoping it was for the Crown Royal and not the douche …

After the dirty was done, the live music began. It was no band you’ve ever heard of but they still rocked the house. The band members were all Lagniappe employees or spouses of Lagniappe employees. Even though they’d never played together before, they made it seem like they’d been jamming together for years. We’re trying to think of a name for them.

Needless to say, a lot of alcohol was consumed and the production level at work on Friday was an all-time low. Boozie knows for a fact Friday was her slowest day but pushed forward for the next party.

Here comes Santa Claus
On Friday night, downtown Mobile was filled with Santas for the 129th annual Santa Claus Society ball. The girls of Mardi Gras court were walked out by none other than Santa. Millie McAleer was leading lady and looked fabulous. But enough about that, I know y’all want to read about those who might have moved to Santa’s and Boozie’s naughty list.

First up, girls’ outfits. SCS attire isn’t nearly as interesting as Mardi Gras ball costumes, but there were still some outfits in question. For starters, Boozie wants to know why someone would wear a cropped-top dress. And why would you wear the dress if between the skirt part and the top you had a muffin top? If the dress doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. Other dresses had cut-out shapes, one that had Boozie wondering, if the dress shifted a little, is that square no longer going to be covering what it was supposed to keep covered? Are you not worried you could have an outfit malfunction like Janet Jackson did? If you have answers to these questions, please me know.

Now on to Santa. If you have young children and want them to see Santa for free, waiting outside of Veet’s or the Convention Center is not the place. These Santas weren’t jolly fat guys (well, some were); most were drunk Santas smoking cigarettes. Not really what you think when you picture Santa, huh?

As the ball ended, most Santas headed home but it wasn’t an easy journey. One Santa found a nice place to rest in the hotel lobby while another found the bushes outside the hotel a good place to detox himself of all the alcohol consumed earlier. Other Santas headed back to Veet’s to get in some more dancing and drinking till the wee morning hours. Boozie hopes Uber got Santa back to the North Pole safely.

Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ douche bag lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!