I’m over it. What is “it,” you ask? “It” is everything. The White House, Congress, Government Plaza, Auburn and Alabama football, cable news of all kinds, the callers on “The Paul Finebaum Show,” cold coffee that is supposed to be hot, nude-colored pantyhose worn with flats, birds, bees and knobby knees. You know, life. Or at least my life.
Don’t worry, I am not going to jump off of a bridge or anything. I’m just ready to overeat and wear really stretchy pants for a week and worry about nothing except if the elastic in said stretchy pants is going to give. Spoiler alert: All signs point to yes!
But before we can get all fat and happy, we have to plough through this week’s titillating tales.
So let’s get to it!
Back in Session(s)
Christmas came a little early for “SNL” writers, when former U.S. Senator and Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced he would run for his old Senate seat. Sessions, who kicked off his campaign with an ad basically begging President Donald Trump to leave him alone, got the full “SNL” treatment when Kate McKinnon, the cast member who portrays him, appeared on the Weekend Update segment of the show.
Predictably they had “Sessions” groveling and eating a sesame seed off of one of Trump’s favorite Big Macs, as if he were some sort of wild animal, a theme they have used quite a bit.
I’m sure this will not be the last appearance “Sessions” makes on the show. You can find the many “SNL” skits featuring him on YouTube. Bless his heart. Why does he want to go through this?
A little birdie told me …
There are pigeons living in the walls of Government Plaza. Well, in at least one wall. We hear City Clerk Lisa Lambert may be feeling like she is starring in a Hitchcock flick of late. Creepy! Run, Lisa, run!
I’m sorry, so sorry!
Our music scene spy was sent a very vague apology about some events that happened at the George Porter Jr. show at Cedar Street Social Club last Friday night.
This gentleman forwarded an “open apology” to our music spy in hopes he would pass it on to Boozie, which he did. And Boozie loves bringing people together and forgiveness and redemption, so here it is:
“This is an open apology letter to the two ladies I was dancing with at that awesome show. I was accusatory to them, and was totally out of line. I had a bad experience at a festival a few weeks back, and thought I was being taken advantage of, mainly because I am socially inept. So lady with the blonde ponytail and your friend wearing the neat tan and white crocheted jacket, I had a great time and I hope you forget what an idiot I was.”
Boozie has no idea what any of this is about but Blonde Ponytail Lady and Crochet Jacket Friend, if you can find it in your hearts to forgive whatever this random dude did, he hopes you can. In the immortal words of The Judds, Naomi and Wynonna (not Ashley), “Love can build a bridge.”
Was that a little bit of a Red Clay Strays’ song I head on “CBS This Morning: Saturday” last weekend? That’s big time fancy, guys! Congrats!
Well kids, that’s all I have this week, Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ “Sessions” sesame seed lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!
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