Another year older, another year wiser? Well definitely, the first thing. Not so sure about the second one.
Let’s just say my 2017 wasn’t off to the best start. The struggle was real. One of the first things I did New Year’s Day was throw up in my friend’s yard.
As if I wasn’t already living in hangover hell on Sunday (but probably not as bad as Mariah Carey), I decided I should keep up with one of my New Year’s resolutions — getting organized — by assembling a shelving system that came in a box. Sober or hungover, that is hard … so many parts, so many directions. I am really hoping there are supposed to be extra screws, because once I got that thing put together I had about six left over.
But no worries, I didn’t screw up this week’s gossip, so get to reading. Hopefully it will hold up better than my shelves.
Happy New Year
It was a MoonPie weekend! First the Chattanooga Bakery General Store opened on Friday and handed out birthday MoonPies. Still no word on whether the peanut butter and chocolate MoonPies will return. A girl can dream!
Anyway, then we had the MoonPie drop Saturday night in the rain. The downpour definitely affected the turnout, but there were still plenty of brave souls who ventured out. Let’s just say it wasn’t the biggest crowd, but it was a dedicated crowd.
Most folks came prepared for the rain, with raincoats, umbrellas and rain boots, but my spy reported a few people without any rain gear. Perhaps they were looking for a New Year’s baptism of sorts.
My spy also reported .38 Special did a good job with their performance and had the soggy crowd rocking.
Sure, while a MoonPie may be a bit wacky, let’s just be thankful we didn’t end up with a nationwide embarrassment like our friends over in Dothan did, with their “Nut Drop.”
Guys, guys, guys, seriously? No one saw the most phallic-looking New Year’s Eve display in the history of New Year’s Eve displays? I’m sure these folks were more embarrassed than Mariah Carey.
Some people’s New Year’s Day was better than Boozie’s, especially those who made it to Flora-Bama’s annual Polar Bear Dip! Luckily for participants it wasn’t much of a polar-bear weather day. The water was a little chilly but not as bad as in years past, according to my spy.
Boozie’s favorite part of the dip is how creative and/ or crazy people get with costumes. Of course there were people dressed as polar bears and snowmen, but my spy also spotted emojis, Elvis, chickens — and she even found Dory! That’s not all, there were mermaids, bikers (real or fake, she wasn’t sure), unicorns and people from various decades.
My spy’s favorites besides the bushwackers was a family with piñata numbers for 2017 and a guy with some type of IV system stocked with Seagram’s 7 and Sprite Zero. All I really know is I could have used that and where can I get one?
The worst part is something my spy says she can’t unsee. Sure, she’s seen men in weeny bikinis and even G-strings but she said she has never seen anything thing like this before. So proceed with caution. Think old man with a belly in a G-string that almost isn’t covering the only thing it’s suppose to cover, and not because it’s big but more like because it is saggy… Umm gross, hopefully parents covered their kids’ eyes.
My Bama spy at the Peach Bowl said she was highly offended by an obnoxious Washington fan who was sitting next to her. Not only did the Husky woman say nasty things about Alabama’s dance team, she also had the nerve to ask my spy how she was able to afford the tickets to the game, since, you know, she was from Alabama. #rude
My spy somehow restrained herself from punching her in the face, as any Southern woman would. And I think all that really needed to be said to this horribly rude woman was done so on the field. Bless her heart. And their sad little football team’s too.
Gone but not forgotten
In 2016 we lost some good people, some well-known folks you already know about and some you might have missed. One really hit home with Boozie.
Alton Adams, aka Al or Sketch. His name might not ring a bell but Al was an integral part of the LoDa scene for decades. If you ever went out downtown, you most likely, at some point, had your picture drawn by Al. Not only did he provide lovely sketches of downtown denizens and guests, but he was a class act and an all-around great human being. He will be greatly missed.
Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ Moonpie lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!
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