Well, it was not easy, but somehow we managed to survive the 2015 Nappie Awards and after-party. Per usual, it was a total circus, with appearances by all of the area’s movers, shakers and troublemakers, and even a few Elvis sightings.
There is much to get to, so I’m just going to go ahead and dive right on in, won’t you please join me?

Let’s get it started
As guests made their way in, they were greeted by the tantalizing smells of the delicious food provided by Bay Gourmet catering, some of which was served by The King himself, as servers dressed in Elvis costumes offered Elvis-inspired food, like fried pickles, peanut-butter-and-bacon blondies and peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches.

I’m told by one Elvis server when people asked him what was in the blondies, he would say “probably pot” or “LSD” and everyone would just say, “oh OK” and take one.

But Elvis wasn’t the only one in costume, as it was like Mardi Gras in July, with appearances by Joe Cain and his widows and representatives from the Wild Mauvillians, Dauphin Street Drunks, Fifty Funny Fellows and the Crewe of Columbus, as was the lovely best drag queen performer, Miss Venus Shante DaVis, who was a vision in canary yellow.

Our winner for Best Florist this year, Barrett Greer, put together one of the most amazing centerpieces for the food table I have ever seen. It was more performance art than centerpiece, as it featured a woman painted and adorned in flowers on a perch surrounded by trees, with beautiful lights and hand-sewn flowers and crystals streaming down. It was the personification of “A Midnight Summer’s Dream,” which was perfect for a midsummer night’s gathering of all of Mobile’s characters. She had enough moss on that someone asked if she needed an anti-fungal cream. It was definitely one of the most talked-about features of the evening.

Once everyone made it into the theater, it was time for the Nappie opening film, which has become one of the highlights of the show each year and this one definitely did not disappoint. After getting past a few minor technical issues (the curse of it being our 13 anniversary), the 10-minute film featured native son Allan McLeod, now a writer and actor in Los Angeles, getting reacquainted with his hometown by quizzing locals, with the help of “local hero” Uncle Henry. He also experiences a little “rejuvenation” with the help of the ladies at Tami’s Mask and Mirror and explores tattooing and piercing options by the kind folks at Royal Street Tattoo. You can find the video on our website and social media pages. Definitely a must see!

And the Nappie goes to …
After 12 years of emceeing, Lagniappe co-publishers Rob Holbert and Ashley Trice decided to turn it over to emcee Dan Brennan of 95KSJ once the awards got started.

All of the media winners had plenty to say, but “DJ who you would most like to see Naked,” Matt McCoy, really put on a show, as he came dressed in a trench coat and then pulled it off to reveal a “naked suit,” which looked like he had borrowed some leaves from the arrangement in the lobby to strategically make things PG-13. He did this all while dancing in front of a large picture of himself, naked at Battleship Park, in front of a strategically placed “torpedo.” The lack of physique displayed in the naked suit had the trainers at the Nappie-Award Winning Best Gym, ProHealth, offering him services.

“Sexiest Newswoman” Devon Walsh of WKRG joked her husband must have been voting every hour on the hour. Best Local DJ Shelby Mitchell of WKSJ said she had been having a really good time at the Nappie cocktail hour.

Best Mobilian Right Now Sandy Stimpson made an appearance with mayoral mascot Sandy Bear. We can also confirm Communications Director George Talbot was seen in the room with Sandy Bear at the same time, dispelling rumors he was, in fact, the mysterious bear, at least for that night.

DA Ashley Rich had a great time accepting her award, although she went off the stage in handcuffs, arrested by Sheriff Sam Cochran’s people who won last year.

Best Divorce Attorney Allison Herlihy, who won the coveted “Best Lawyer if your Spouse is a Ho” award, suggested we change the category to “Best Lawyer if your Spouse is a Ho, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Gambler,” and I think she added some other undesirable traits in there as well.

The Barrett Greer folks had a video starring the FTD mascot — a man painted in gold with nothing but a loincloth and a winged hat on. It was just great.

A good time was had by all. Well, I guess I should say by most. There were, as usual, a few people who were jerks and/or prima donnas, who just had to make snide comments. Guys, come on, it’s just supposed to be a fun night, no need for the snatchiness or rudeness. Why come if it’s just so horrible for you?

After-party shenanigans
After the long ceremony finally came to a close, the night kept going right across the street at Alchemy Tavern for the official after-party. We had the whole block in front of the Saenger and Alchemy blocked off for a party that spilled into the streets. The fabulous new company MovieGo had a 16-foot projector screen out in the street with music and videos playing. It was one of the most talked-about features of the after-party for sure. We have to give them a huge shout out and if you are looking for such a service, check out Movie GO’s Facebook page.

There was also karaoke inside at Alchemy and the band Mother MoJo was rocking the upstairs. Huge thanks to Matt at Alchemy for making sure everyone got officially sloshed. And to Matt at LoDa Biergarten for serving up his Nappie-award winning drunk food.

The Lagniappe staff shared shots of Jameson at Alchemy and everything gets a little fuzzy from there. But all in all, it was another great year. We will see you back at the 14th annual Nappies next July!

Well kids, that’s all I’ve got. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or some plain ol’ Nappie lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!