As Jimmy Buffett would say, “the weather is here, wish you were beautiful.” This past weekend’s weather was just what we all needed. A taste of summatime is all it took to get everyone out of their wintertime funk. My spies were out and about this weekend too, from crawfish boils to downtown. They were living the best of both worlds, drinking and working. So let this week’s gossip brighten your day.
Presenting Mr. and Mrs. Jason Johnson
Boozie’s spies had the rare occasion to carpool to rural E-Ala for the marriage of Lagniappe’s own Jason Johnson to his longtime sweetheart, Sydney Brunson, both of Elba. The ceremony drew an overflow crowd at Covenant Community Church and was officiated by a minister who has spiritually guided the couple’s families since their youth.
Flanked by some of the best-looking groomsmen and bridesmaids between the towns of Luverne and Brundidge, the couple wed in perfect weather in a sunset ceremony that was short and sweet, with the minister providing humorous anecdotes of his first memories of the couple as children. Well, he actually withheld his first memory of the groom in favor of a presumably much more benign second memory, but do tell, salty preacherman!
A beautifully decorated and catered reception followed at The Emporium in Troy, with a three-hour bluegrass set provided by Mobile’s own Marlow Boys, featuring Phil Proctor, Stan Foster and Karl and Joe Langley. Jason’s own band, 10-6 Upstairs, treated everyone to their own four-song set, which featured perfect vocal harmonies and ample “drummer face,” an expression the groom can best explain using a phrase best accentuated with an inappropriate four-letter word.
Food included a grits station, pork sandwiches, some combination of meat and starch on a fork that was amazing, raw Gulf oysters and a charcuterie spread worthy of a page in Southern Living. Two hefty Lagniappe editorial staffers were observed helping themselves to generous portions of the The World’s Largest Tub of Pimiento Cheese, which they topped off with more than a reasonable serving of chocolate cupcakes.
Word from the smokers’ section is the groomsmen traded quite a few fun memories of the groom and each other, while cellphone videos were shared as evidence.
Afterward, the couple was briefly spotted at the Troy Waffle House, where the groom enjoyed a chocolate chip waffle with butter, folded in half and eaten like a taco. The bride had half of a bacon and egg sandwich and was ready to call it a night.
The couple are currently honeymooning in the Florida Keys, where anything is known to happen. The groom’s last Facebook post was of a half-empty margarita pool-side at a beach resort, but we’d like to think of it as half full. The couple plans to reside in Mobile. Feel free to send your blessings to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Who are we?
Usually this time of year the cannon is painted black, but after McGill-Toolen won another state championship it was time to bring out the orange paint. McGill’s men’s basketball team secured a second state championship for the school this school year and became the first school in Mobile to bring home both football and basketball state championships the same year. So way to go, Jackets! Boozie is always happy to see the cannon painted, whatever color it may be. Also, head coach Phillip Murphy had a little something extra to celebrate last week. He and his wife welcomed their fourth child into the family on Leap Day! Congrats, Coach, on such a big week!
Fashion Police need to be called
Call me old-fashioned or not in style, whatever, but Boozie thinks she knows what looks good and what doesn’t, and there were some outfits at a local watering hole this past weekend that … well, I’m not really sure what was going on, but I guess they were trying to bring back ‘90s fashion? If they were, they should probably just stop.
I saw quite a few belly shirts, and even fewer people wearing them could pull them off. I now know why they call them belly shirts. It’s not cute, not having a shirt long enough to cover a muffin top. Just sayin’.
While I’m on the topic of clothes in bad taste, suede pants without pockets and a frontal wedgie aren’t cute either. “Um hmm, that’s right, uh huh, oh no, fix yourself, girl, you got a camel toe.” Sorry, I had to. But girls, save yourself the embarrassment and just don’t wear pants that tight. No one wants to see that.
Young at heart
Like I said, everyone was enjoying the weather this weekend and I mean everyone. I was making my way down Emogene Street, and when passing the park, I noticed something. I saw a white-haired old lady swinging on the swing set. No grandchildren in sight, just her, swinging as high as she could. Who says we have to grow up?
Well, kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ swing set lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!
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