Well kids, we’ve had a long week of Civil War battle re-enactments and back-to-school shopping. It’s been an unbelievably busy summer, and I can’t believe it’s almost over. But at least in the South, the end of summer brings the beginning of football season, so we have that. RTR! WDE!

Anyway, we have shenanigans for both history buffs and trash TV aficionados this week, so don’t ever say I don’t cater to errbody.

Enjoy!

Damn the Torpedoes … not full speed ahead enough

So our spies at the re-enactment of the Battle of Mobile Bay down on Fort Morgan observed several Confederate soldier re-enactors getting a little impatient with how long it was taking the Union re-enactors to force them to surrender.

The men, who were dressed in heavy wool coats, pants and hats, were standing in the bathwater temps in the Gulf under the blazing hot sun and apparently it was taking too long for the Union sailors to get to them. One soldier started yelling to organizers, “I don’t care who you get, just find someone for us to surrender to.”

Not a very plucky attitude.

Luckily, organizers were able to rustle up a few of Farragut’s rogue men so the Confederate soldiers could surrender to them. Unfortunately, the rogue Yank soldiers were unarmed, but they were still happy to accommodate the Rebels by picking up some nearby driftwood and taking them hostage with it. We are sure they were happy to head to an air-conditioned Union jail. Suddenly, I think we may know what happened 150 years ago.

Jazz royalty at the Union

Jason Marsalis of the legendary NOLA jazz family and his band wanted to grab a bite after their Gulf Coast Ethnic and Heritage Jazz Festival show on Saturday, so organizers ran them down to The Union. The group of impeccably attired gents couldn’t have been nicer or more gracious.

They had the place nearly to themselves as it was close to 10 p.m. by the time they arrived and were very complimentary of the service and food and seemed to enjoy themselves. The servers said the guests were easy to wait on and made it worth their while for the experience. 

On the way back to the hotel, they seemed intrigued by the crowds along Dauphin Street and Marsalis in particular did a double take at the crowd gathered outside the Haberdasher for Tiki Night.  

The word is getting out, Mobile is cool! Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone else!

Jersey Shore meets Sweet Home Alabama

boozie jersey belle

Well there is some delicious new guilty pleasure TV on my friends and it features our snobby friends to the north, in Birmingham’s most elite burb, Mountain Brook, a zip code which makes 36608 look like a Third World country. I’m shocked they were even allowed to film there.

“Jersey Belle” premiered on Bravo network on Monday, Aug. 4. And though clearly, the show’s star, Jaime Primak Sullivan, a New Jersey transplant, feigns surprise at some inherently Southern things, such as bridal teas, it was a pretty entertaining watch.

It is, as all reality TV shows are, a bit contrived. Primak Sullivan acts as if she was placed in a foreign land last week, when in “reality” she has lived in Mountain Brook for years, although technically she apparently lives in Vestavia (Gasp! The horror!).

But judging how her kids were decked out in smocked clothing from head to toe — even before her Southern Belle friend took her kids shopping for such attire, I’d say it’s pretty safe to say an intelligent woman like herself became acclimated to the customs of her new “tribe” years ago. Conversely, the Southern girls acted like they had never heard of a cannoli. I certainly hope that was just playing it up for the camera.

But still it was fun to see Southern women talk about monogramming EVERYTHING, televisions set up at wedding receptions on big SEC game days (you know that’s TRUTH) and the look of polite horror one Southern girl had when Primak-Sullivan revealed she bought her wedding dress off a rack at David’s Bridal. And a couple of them showed layers beyond that — talking about fertility issues, divorce and the cattiness that can occur in small towns, so it wasn’t all one dimensional over-the-top Southern female stereotypes.

And while it did show some really great things Southern women have to offer, at least one woman was also portrayed as a horribly vapid and insecure social climber who finally made it to the top of the Mountain (Brook). Maybe that is just “reality” or maybe her “character” just hasn’t had time to develop. Either way, I’ll be tuning in to watch every Monday night. And there is an even bigger reason for folks in Mobile to watch, the show is set to feature a Mobile native named Scarlett, so be on the look out!

Well kids, that’s all I got. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ 150-year-old Civil War battle re-enacting lovin’, I will be there! Ciao!