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Alberto! Alberto! Alberto! Really? It’s not even officially hurricane season yet and you are all up in our grill? Thankfully, you decided to head to Panama City Beach! You must like body glitter and doing shots with young’uns at Spinnakers, you dirty little storm!

But even though you headed to PCB, we were ready for you nonetheless. See, Al, we are used to tropical winds and torrential downpours, just like we’re used to downpours of gossip. I’ll let Alan Sealls and Jason Smith talk about the rain, but your chief gossipologist, Boozie Beer Nues, is here for you with this week’s pinpoint gossip-cast. Get your gossip tracking charts out!

Stimpson gets “Pereesed”

A few issues ago, we told you about the Spring Hill peacock who some residents named Perees. This was an actual peacock that had flown away from a farm in WeMo when another male was introduced into his muster (yes, apparently that’s what you call a group of peacocks). He was spotted on a roof on the Hill and around various other spots for a little bit. A Facebook group was formed so residents could report sightings.

I can’t seem to find where there have been any more sightings of the actual bird (sadly), but that didn’t stop the folks who started this whole thing from having more peacock fun. There are T-shirts and hats and photos of peacock merchandise constantly posted on the Facebook page. And now it seems they have purchased a peacock lawn ornament, which they have, of course, named Perees, and it is mysteriously ending up in Spring Hill yards in the dark of night.

And recently it ended up in Mobile Mayor Sandy Stimpson’s yard. He posed with it and put it on his Facebook page. This is so crazy. And so Mobile, which is why I love it.  Let’s just hope the real Perees made it safely back home. And no one gets shot while delivering the fake Perees.

Picking for Pat

I’m so glad a bomb didn’t go off in Callaghan’s last Wednesday night — for multiple reasons, obviously, but mainly because I think we would have lost the majority of our musical talent in one night. That’s right, a who’s who of our greatest musicians all came together to raise money for one of their own, Pat Murphy, who is battling cancer. More than 40 Mobile musicians played in one night (crazy!), including Rick Hirsch, Grayson Capps, Eric Erdman, Stan Foster, Phil Proctor, Andy MacDonald, Molly Thomas, Lisa Mills, Donna Hall Foster and Greg DeLuca, among many, many others.

Painter Robby Amonett captured the event on canvas, as he often does for Callaghan’s shows. The finished product was donated to an auction they were also having, and it was purchased by Callaghan’s owner John Thompson, who turned right around and presented it to Pat Murphy and his wife, Benita. All the good feels for this great event!

Holy haberdashery, Batman!

A spy spotted the boy wonder, yes the one and only Robin, on the corner of Dauphin and Royal last Friday afternoon. Batman was nowhere to be found, so we aren’t really sure why the caped crusader’s sidekick was standing on the street corner. A Mardi Gras organization hazing? Or perhaps on his way to Mobicon? Just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop, the world may never know!

Bless their hearts

God bless our local TV news folks. I know it’s hard to tell where a storm is going to hit with that whole “cone of uncertainty” stuff. But I felt so sorry for our local newsies who were forced to do “special coverage” on a holiday weekend of a storm that was a total non-event. They repeatedly went to live shots at the beaches, which looked like they do on any normal day, with folks just casually walking around in the background.

Can y’all not call off the special coverage when you realize it’s not coming here? My poor Aunt Edna was all upset she was missing her “Sunday Today” with that “cute little Willie Geist” while the sun was shining outside her window. I felt sorry for Aunt Edna, but not as sorry as I felt for our poor local newscasters who had their holiday weekends ruined for nothing. Thanks, Alberto!

Just asking?

A fan of TLC’s “My 600-LB Life” has alerted Boozie that a woman from Mobile recently made an appearance on the show. Apparently, the number on her scale has not affected her ability to score a man, as her fiance is featured on the episode — an affirmation that true beauty lies within.

Awwww! Ain’t love grand!

Well kids, that’s all I got. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or just some plain ol’ mayoral Perees lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!