Leo (7/23-8/23) — You’ll have a delightful time at Drag Queen Story Hour at the Mobile Public Library, just as you would at any story hour, and go about your life not getting i to everyone else’s business. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is two bloody marys at Sunday brunch.

Virgo (8/24-9/22) — In an effort to encourage your ducky to win the Rubber Ducky Regatta, you’ll stand on the riverfront along with a couple of Baldwin County’s rabid foxes. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is a trip across the Bayway poking your head out of the sunroof while it’s raining.

Libra (9/23-10/22) — You’ll send a condolence letter to the USA Board of Trustees for mismanaging the 250 percent tuition hike over the past 15 years and not creating a fund for a football stadium. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is a cold therapy mask and Roman Street quietly strumming in the background.

Scorpio (10/23-11/21) — Hearing that houses in Baldwin County are selling in 24 hours or less, you decide to put yours on the market without disclosing the leaking roof or raccoon infestation. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is the face Mayor Stimpson made when the USA stadium vote failed.

Sagittarius (11/22-12/22) — Speaking of leaking roofs and racoon infestations, it appears your next visit to Bama Bayou may finally have something to offer. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is counting Alexander Shunnarah advertisements.

Capricorn (12/23-1/19) — After Mobile Baykeeper canceled The Big Float due to the poor water quality of Fly Creek, you plan to host The Big Flush kayak tour instead. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is a cold swim in dirty Magnolia Springs.

Aquarius (1/20-2/18) — Always the rebel, you’ll bring a bowl of gumbo to this month’s installment of Jazz Jambalaya. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is the entire cup of Communion wine at mass.

Pisces (2/19-3/20) — You’ll be offered payment from a shadow organization to oppose Fairhope’s vote on a council-manager form of government. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is one part Gatorade, one part Pedialyte and five parts ipecac.

Aries (3/21-4/19) — In a new ploy to pay back your student loans, you’ll develop a plan to be thrown into Mobile Metro Jail, lose a lim, and force a settlement with the county. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is attending your local government’s 2019 budget deliberations.

Taurus (4/20-5/20) — You become the first person to debate Gov. Kay Ivey when you get into an argument over the most wholesome 1950s TV characters over drinks at the Perdido Beach Resort bar. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is a 100-mile LimeBike race.

Gemini (5/21-6/21) — Relieved the Republican incumbent politicians of Baldwin County successfully blocked a proposed immigrant detention facility, you issue a stop work order on the 12-foot fence being constructed around your backyard. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is a half-gallon of Cammie’s Old Dutch ice cream.

Cancer (6/22-7/22) — Preparing for the inaugural A.g.S Con at the Ashbury Hotel, you’ll don your Bulma cosplay and prepare to save Son Goku. Your Dauphin Street Beer Fest hangover cure is 10 puppies licking your face.