The last weekend of summer was a hot one but it didn’t keep y’all from misbehaving. So dive on in to Boozie’s pool of gossip and cool off.

Darn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!
On Aug. 5, “troops” of kids and their parents headed to Cathedral Square to fight the Battle of Mobile Bay on the 151st anniversary of the famous Civil War naval conflict. There were no torpedoes involved this time, though, as the North and South instead launched water balloons at each other across a line drawn in the grass.

Union Adm. David Farragut and Confederate Adm. Franklin Buchanan led their “soldiers” into battle, as tunes such as the “William Tell Overture” and some Zeppelin blared over the sound system. To make the event even more Mobile, the young warriors also defended their honor with Super Soakers, which were invented by native Mobilian Lonnie Johnson.

Though the Union won the battle 151 years ago, one 6-year-old spy told me this one ended in a tie.

Kudos to Downtown Mobile Alliance for putting on such a perfect event for a hot August afternoon.

Nappie happy
Just when we think the Nappies are over until next year, we come across Alison Baxter Herlihy’s ad for “Best Lawyer If Your Spouse is a Ho” (one of Boozie’s favorite categories) on two popular websites, The Chive and Tosh.0 blogger Josh Keown’s page. The Chive posted the picture of the ad in its “Daily Morning Awesomeness” section and Keown reposted it, asking for “a friend” who won “Best Lawyer If You Want That Indecent Exposure Charge Dropped.” Boozie might have to push for that category to be added to the Nappies in 2016 if I can be the first to expose the gossip behind it (pun intended).

Mobile getting ‘Rectified’?
If you’re a fan of “cracking out” on great TV and haven’t seen Sundance Channel’s original series “Rectify,” you should probably get your pipe, I mean, remote out and get to watching the first two seasons. The third is currently airing.

The series centers around the life (and almost death) of Daniel Holden (portrayed by Aden Young), who has just been released from death row, as he tries to re-assimilate back into life with his family in a rural Georgia town, Paulie. DNA evidence allowed for his release, but as to whether he’s actually guilty or not, well, that depends on who you ask.

You can watch for yourself but the reason I’m bringing it up is because Mobile gets namedropped several times in the second season. Daniel tells some ladies he meets he is from Alabama, and they apologize to him for having to live there. (I think Georgia must look on us like we look on Mississippi.) And later he goes on to say he owns a bookstore in Mobile, all of which is false, but later when his mom asks him where he would want to live, if not in their hometown, he says Mobile.

Why is Mobile getting so much love, you ask? Well my spies tell me that the mother, Janet (played by J-Smith Cameron), has a friend who is from Mobile and may have even visited here during Mardi Gras. Could she have been offering our glorious locale up to the writers? Or maybe it was the actress who plays his sister Amantha (Abigail Spencer), who’s from Gulf Breeze, or the actor who plays his step-brother Ted Jr. (Clayne Crawford), who’s from Clay, Alabama, and was also in the film “Convergence,” which was shot here. Who knows?

Maybe it has nothing to do with any of them, but clearly they need to shoot season four in the Azalea City. And we even have locally owned Leroy Hill coffee here, which everyone knows is perfect for “matriculating into your general crack area.” (You’ll only get that last part after you watch it.)

It’s about to be a … girl fight
The heat must really be getting to people and makin’ them crazy. One of my spies reported back that while riding the Wave public transportation a girl fight broke out. This was no ordinary fight; words were exchanged, then one woman broke out the pepper spray and began spraying the other women. Not only did she spray the lady she had a beef with, but also a few riders who were children. Things got so out of hand the bus driver had to pull over and have the woman detained. And Boozie thought the heat was getting to her …

Just add alcohol
One spy scribbled down some notes on a bar napkin, while enjoying a cozy barstool, that there was more than drinks being shaken at the Sandshaker in Pensacola. We hear one lady was shaking it so hard that her white jeans had slipped down a little low to reveal her black underwear. While she thought she looked cute letting it all hang out, she must have forgotten those weren’t her cute underwear. Not only did she reveal they were inside out, but also that they had a big ol’ hole in them. Needless to say she was too holey to get lucky.

Well kids, that’s all I’ve got this week. Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous, or just some plain ol’ pepper sprayin’, I will be there! Ciao!